


The Accident

by Among_strange_lands



Category: Captain America - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - No Powers, Brain Damage, Brain Surgery, Bucky Barnes Recovering, Bucky Cancer, Bucky has a service dog, Bucky's Service Dog, Cancer, Cancer Bucky, Cancer Treatment Bucky, Chemotherapy, Disability, Drunk Driving, F/M, Hospitalization, Paralysis, Paraplegic Bucky, Physical Disability, Physical Therapy, Seizures, Service Dogs, Traumatic Brain Injury, epileptic bucky
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-03
Updated: 2020-06-21
Packaged: 2020-10-06 16:40:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 26
Words: 22,661
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20510183
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Among_strange_lands/pseuds/Among_strange_lands
Summary: Bucky Barnes, in a Car Wreck and has a TBI, Traumatic Brain Injury, Brain damage, Brain Injury, will Bucky recover without disabilities? Or will Bucky have disabilities that will leave him paralyzed from the waste down? And other health problems? Read to find out! Please leave a review. College No Powers AU.  Avengers Au, Captain America Au





	1. Accident

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> January 7th 2017

James Barnes, and his friends were out having a good time at a party drinking. After a few hours of drinking they decided to leave they were all drunk, so they weren't thinking especially James who forgotten to put his seat belt on, and was driving. In his and his friends drunken state they didn't see the light change from yellow to red in front of them and went to drive on through. The three had been talking about anything that came to mind. James' parents didn't even know he was out and texted him when they got worried about where he was but james' phone was in the back he hadn't touched it all evening. He had just drove through when it happened. The drivers side where James was sitting was crashed into by another driver not expecting that someone would ignore the traffic light. The car rolled and james' flew out the windowshelid...

A couple witnessed the crash and came running when the two cars collided. the man ran over he looked in the car two young men were sitting there with broken ribs, bruises as well, but the driver seat was empty, that was when he remembered another flying through the window. He looked over his wife was already on the phone with emergency, she nodded an abundance was on it's way.. The other driver his wife was checking he had a broken arm and dark bruise where his forehead hit the wheel. Erik looked around and there he saw the bloody prone twisted form of the young man who was driving. He knelt down next to James and realized he knew him "oh no. Oh God.." Erik said. Looking at James bloodied head and left arm as well as the rest of the damage done to James. "LAURA!" Laura came as fast as she could still on the phone. James was still breathing but you could tell he didn't have much more time. Laura too recognized James. The son of George and Winifred Branes"A friends son is bleeding really bad from the head." She said to the women on the other end of the phone. "Help is five minutes out, is he breathing?" "Yes.". "They should be arriving.". The woman said and just then they did and Laura hung up. "Erik." Erik looked up at his wife. "I know, we almost didn't stay this late. Call Winifred.". Laura did, Winifred's son was life flighted and the others by route of ambulance to the nearest hospital.  
Winifred and Geroge rushed to the waiting room where the friends wept and comforted each other.

"He's going to be okay Winifred." Erik spoke up.

"How do you know Erik?" Winifred asked she was beyond frightened that her only son wouldn't live, they hadn't gotten any news...

"He's fighting, he was still breathing. James hasn't given up yet.". Erik stated, he had seen to many people stop breathing during the military combats he was in, and somehow he knew it wasn't over..

"I'm terrified...". Winifred said crying. "We asked him to message us around 11 pm and now, he's fighting for his life... Why my boy..." Why not the other two they were bad influences on James...

"It will be okay. God's with us.". Laura said. And just then the doors open.

"Barnes family" The Dr asked. George nodded.

"How is our son? He was the one most injured from what Erik said." George asked pointing at Erik. The Dr nodded.

"I'm sorry but he's in critical condition, he has had a traumatic brain injury with skull fractures, and brain bleed in two places, He has a broken back, broken ribs, broken left arm, punctured lung, several burns and lacerations. His ICP, BP is high and His oxygen low, the  
ventilator helping him breathe. I promise that we will do all we can to keep him comfortable, but you should know he's very weak and he might not live through the night, but we will know more of his condition as more time passes. He was intoxicated which can bring about a slower recovery... We will keep him comfortable and pray. Is he allergic to anything we should know of?". The Dr said.

"Not that we know of." John answered holding his wife's shoulders.

"Can I please see my baby..."

"Yes you may he's in the ICU now. All that is around him is there to help him, He's going to need all the support he can get.. and all the Miracles God gives... I'll be praying for your son." And with that Mr and Mrs Barnes headed in, the Dr walked away and Erik and Laura were left sitting in the waiting room.

James looked horrible, very pale, oxygen tube down his throat, from the ventilator, the ICP bolt in his head. Machines connected all to and over him, his arm sitting on a pillow. A thin blanket over him. Winifred had tears running down her face as she looked at her son. She took hold of James right hand a wept. "I suppose we should call Nat and tell her., As well as Rebecca and mom.." She said softly looking at the time it was 1 am. "Is my baby going to be okay?" asked the nurse. "Don't worry Mrs Barnes , we will do everything we can to help him to recover. We won't give up on him."  
Geroge went out an called Winifred's mom, Rebecca, and Nat when Winifred nodded noticing that the nurse looked at her son differently then the doctor had. "You have a son?"

"Yes about his age who struggles with his health..."

"I'm sorry."

"Thank you but don't be, he's getting the best care here, just like your son here will get the best."

Winifred nodded, and the nurse left, soon she came back in with easily moveable chairs two more as there was already two.. James' was in a private ICU room to help in his critical condition prevent infections and other issues. "Incase your two friends want to join you for a little while."

"Thank you."

The nurse smiled an nodded. Looking at James one more time, vitals and everything, before heading out. "I'll be at the desk if you have any need hit the call button."

Not long after the nurse left did Erik and Laura enter, and sat down they looked and prayed over James before saying. "Call us if you need anything and we will be right here." Erik said, and Laura added "we could watch him, if you want to get some sleep, Winifred."

"Thank you but not tonight... Need to assure myself he's still here."

"We will be in the waiting room." Laura went to the waiting room deciding it was too late to head home tonight.

James had survived the night, and the Dr checked his vitals. "We will have to put him on ecomo but there's risks but it might help the pressure go down. ICP hasn't lowered since the accident. "what's the risks?" George asked looking at James, his son on the ventilator, the machine breathing for him.

"Blood clots, and bleeding, we also wouldn't be able to do surgery also but we believe it will do him good."

George looked at his wife who nodded she was terrified but she understood.

"You can do it, trust you with our sons care." George said. The Dr nodded.

"We will be putting the ecmo line in his leg. We will be needing to take more x-rays of his lungs and back but first the main focus is lowering the ICP, so we can take that bolt out and see if we can wake him up when we take him off of sedation."

Later Winifred's mom, Alice and Rebecca showed up Nat was at college but said she would be by later and that she could inform the college of why James wasn't to he seen today, or anytime soon.


	2. Day 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> January 8 2017

**T**he morning had been a rollercoaster for the Barnes family, and Winifred's mother Alice. James had survived the crash but they were all so uncertain if he would live and if he would mentally impared, while is ICP was still high his blood pressure lowering at a very fast rate, and he was fighting a high fever, as well which concerned them. James could be fighting spesis. They had taken x-rays of James' lungs, and shaved his head, as well as put his ecmo line in place in his right leg. They had just taken him back for x-rays and do a CT scan on his brain and back when Natasha showed up. She went to the room number first but saw it empty, she had to fight her emotions at seeing the room empty, after being told canes would be in their she went to the waiting room where she saw Mrs Barnes.

"Mrs Barnes." She said, Mrs Barnes turned around Natasha could see unshed tears in her eyes. "How's James?"

"He's fighting." Winifred said with a small smile "he will be okay Nat. And what did I say about Mrs Barnes?"

"I'm sorry, Aunt Win." Natasha said with a smile on her face playfully. "What are they saying about James?"

"That if he lives he won't be the same, there in the X-rays and doing a CT scan right now. Nat he isn't doing good he has a high fever and with everything. He could be paralyzed completely or from the waist down or mentally impared and won't be able to talk again... Or he might be in a coma and we have to pull the plug because he could go brain dead..". Winifred said tears sliding down her face. "My little boy could be dying and there's nothing I can personally do to help him."

"Do you really think James will give up on us that easily?" Natasha asked right as Alice walked in having heard her daughter in dispear. 

"Win, James' will make it. Memory Impared or not he's still your son. Wasn't it you that told me you wouldn't give up on him 22 years ago? When he had a heart murmur as a baby?" 

"Yes mom but he's.." she held up her hand. 

"Yes, I agree this is worse but I believe he will heal enough to know who he is and know who everyone else. We all know James fought to be in this world he's going to fight more. Because he's our fighter. He will fight this fight and he will win. 

* * *

Just then they brought out James' heading towards his room, Natasha saw her best friend and she couldn't believe her eyes. James' looked horrible and she just knew James would hate his hair. He was very vain in his apprance, and wouldn't have appreciated his shaved head, and face... They got him situatied in in his room, the Dr didn't look happy. 

"James has sepsis, severe brain damage,I wouldn't be surprised if if he has epilepsy if he makes it through this. ICP is still high besides the ecmo line. And I'm sorry to say but James' is paraplegic, paralyzed from the waist down. We won't know if he can feel pain down there until we wake him up. We need to set up a peg line and do a trach. But we need a signature of consent." 

"We do you still say if? He survived the night, he can survive sepsis." Winifred said. 

"James' had 20% chance of making it last night, tonight as well. The fever is so high we will have to try a cooling blanket as well as medications. And we will have to give him antibiotics, it would be wise at this point to give him anticonvulsants as well. Does your son have any blood disorders?" The Dr asked. 

"He has hemophilia..." Winifred suddenly went pale. "is that why he's been hocked up to the blood transfusion line? I can't believe i forgotten with everything..." 

"We were concerned about his blood pressure suddenly going low this morning, after being high. It will help us with clotting his blood too and we will need to remove the ecmo sooner. Everyone forgets something when a family member has a TBI. We got it from here, but it's up to James' will to fight wether he survives another night." 

"No, it's God's will " Winfred said. The Dr nodded. And left. 

Nat looked a James' and suddenly said. "Can I stay here tonight? Aunt Win?" Winifred nodded. 

"Geroge went home because they won't let him off at this point, but yes." Winifred. 

"Why don't you go home and get some sleep. Have the nurse bring anything I need to sign to be able to watch him for you guys. I'll call if anything changes. You and George need sleep." 

Winfred nodded, "thank you Nat." 


	3. Steps Backwards

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky has a hard time, We will see Steve in this chapter at the hospital, George is back on firefighter duty, working himself overtime because he doesn't want to be by his dying son.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please Let me know What You Think!  
I love receiving reviews. This chapter will have prov changes!  
January 8 2017

Steve was sitting at his mother's desk at the hospital working on his college work, his mother was doing her nursing duties, normally hospitals wouldn't let family members of nurses hang out at the desk but Steve was an exception in their department of the hospital. Steve was working hard on becoming a nurse himself dispite his own health problems, and they would give Steve tips, and help him out on his college course. And he got to see first hand in the trauma unit. He was working on a particularly hard course when suddenly he heard someone call "grab a crash cart.". He looked up to see his mom grabbing one an rushing to the private ICU the son of Mr and Mrs Barnes. He had heard of Mr Barnes he worked as a firefighter but had been off duty because of an injury for two months and they called him back in. 

* * *

It had been two hours since Winifred had left, Natasha had been talking softly to James' for those two hours telling him he just had to make it through that he couldn't leave any who loved him alone. James fever was rising they had turned on the cooling blanket and he didn't react to that. Natasha knew that James hated the cold he couldn't deal with it, without long sleeve shirt then a jacket, and sweat pants. As she was talking to James'his heart rate slowed until ^___^____ came from the heart monitor in a one loud beep. she was about to call for help when nurse rushed in and called for a crash cart, and the Dr on James' care. "Pulse?" 

"No pulse." "Start chest compressions, I pulse doesn't come we will prepare to shock." 

No pulse came, they shocked once, "Prepare to shock." 

"Come on James" Natasha heard the Dr say as they started chest compressions again. 

"Fight. Please fight." Natasha whispered, she saw a young man who looked their age looking through the door. 

"Prepare to shock." Again no sign of life in James. Natasha started crying, tears in her eyes when the Dr said "chest compressions." And then "prepare to shock." When James heart monitor started doing weak deeps. "We got a pulse!" Nurse Sarah said, who looked behind her seeing the young man, Natasha assumed it was her son as she smiled at him. 

"we need a whole body CT and x-ray need to find out what happened more tests stat." 

They took James, and Natasha went to the waiting room, and called Winfred saying James had coded but alive now. She said she would be there. Winifred had just arrived when they put James back in his ICU private room. Kidney dialysis was bedside

"What happened to my son?" Winfred asked the dr, they were standing near the desk where Steve returned to work. 

"He went into cardiac arrest, kidney failure, and he has fluid in the lungs, to be excalt acute pulmonary edema. I'm sorry Mrs Barnes. We will do everything we can but your son doesn't have a twenty percent chance of surviving this." 

"What is his chance?" Natasha asked. 

"Ten percent, I would suggest pulling the plug, and letting him die peacefully instead of being kept alive any longer.". 

"God will heal him." Natasha said fiercely, she looked to Winfred. "You won't let them pull the plug will you?" 

"Not right now." Winfred said softly thankful she had Natasha with her, her and George had gotten into an argument before she got here, he didn't want to be around his dying son. 

"I want to try something." Steve said from behind them. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again drop a comment!! Let's me know if I should keep continuing I'll also be taking ideas for the next chapter! Or so!


	4. Suggestion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve has a suggestion, The community prays, George comes see his son.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> January 8 & 9 & 10 2017

_Previously:_

_ "I want to try something." Steve said from behind them._

* * *

Natasha, Winifred, Nurse Sarah, and Dr Ryan turned towards Steve who was standing right outside. 

"I read his file, it was open on the desk." He said to his mom's and Dr Ryan's questioning looks. 

"What do you suggest?" Dr Ryan asked

"Pause the sedation, let him wake up that way we know he's still there or take the ecmo out and prepare him for brain surgery now to relieve ICP." Steve said.

Sarah and Ryan shared a glance, "Sarah get the team down here, let's see what they think is the best option." He turned towards Winfred as Sarah left to get the team by the pager at the desk. 

"Young Steve here is Nurse Rogers son, he has two Points, we could do either one. But we need your concent and what you would rather." He paused "one requires two risky procedures as we would have to take him off ecmo as we just started him on it and then do brain surgery to relieve pressure." Dr Ryan looked thoughtful "and waking him up can be more stressful on him because pain will be forefront even with relief. Which would you prefer Mrs Barnes?" 

"Whichever why that will save my son." Winifred said the Dr nodded. 

"Steve? After waking him up what would you do?" 

"Put him in an induced coma, until it's safe to take out the ecmo line to preform surgery." Steve paused looking at James' iv "you only have him on light sedations enough to keep him under."

Ryan nodded. 

The team came in and they talked and discussed procedures with Mrs Barnes they decided to attempt to wake James up. 

* * *

Winfred called her husband and Laura and Erik asking them to come up as they'e going to pause James' sedation for him to wake up they just arrived after thirty minutes of the sedation being paused. When Jamss blinked, several times and couldn't open his eyes all the way Winifred noticed sadly when suddenly her baby boy panicked. "it's okay James, you were in an accident." James blinked. "Can you squeeze my hand or give me a thumbs up?" Dr Ryan asked, holding James' right hand. He felt a weak squeeze. "Good Job James, can you follow my finger?" Dr Ryan asked gently when James did just that, but everyone could see it was hard for him too. "Good job, James." Ryan said nodding at Nurse Mike who unpaused the sedation, Winfred moved forward slightly getting in her baby boys line of vision. He mouthed 'mom' "hey bubba." And then James' fell asleep. 

"Induce a coma, we will try the ecmo, and coma to relieve ICP first before we do surgery. Also we need to do a trach but that's a small procedure." Dr Ryan said. "I'm not going to lie to you James has a long way ahead of him, he will have bad days and good days. He has a marathon ahead." 

The Barnes' nodded and everyone headed home lighter than they were since learning about James 

* * *

January 9 2017 

George woke up on the morning of the call from work telling him he had some more time off for James' and that he needed to take to be with his family. He had apologized to Winfred about his behavior last night and said he would be there the whole time. the news station called asking if they could do James' condition he gave them permission for both tv news and paper and said him and his wife and James and his siblings would appreciate prayers. 

They went to the hospital to find that James' had a high fever, they turned his cooling blanket on and he didn't react because of the induced coma. James younger siblings came and saw their brother and then went to stay with Laura and Erik for the night. The hospital sent George and Winifred home to get some rest saying that they would let them know if anything changes. 

* * *

The Next Morning, January 10- 2017 Winfred got up and turned on the TV. James had a rough day yesterday evening having problems with a fever, still There wasn't any signs of swelling going down which concerned the Barnes family but Ryan suggested that they went home and got some rest they would call if there was any changes in James. Winifred looked at the paper too just when the news station came on it reported the same thing the paper did. 

**Local Boys Wreck**

_ January-10-2017 _

_Alec & Zander Kings, Twin sons of Ray And Alicia Kings minor injuries _

_~_

_Daniel Cunnings 18-wheeler Driver with minor injuries. _

_~_

_James Barnes Son of George and Winifred Barnes.Critical Condition see more below_

* * *

_ James Barnes suffered a TBI, and other injuries. James was the one driving the car and flew out the windshield James' was suspected to pass away the night of the wreck but he has hung on. Fighting for his life. Everyone who knows James' knows he's a good guy and he made a mistake. Daniel Cunnings who originally was just going to drive through has decided to call his boss and ask for days off because of an accident and he wants to know if James' will live. He's not going to pass charges on the Barnes family, saying that he wouldn't want to have his son face charges if he was in critical condition in the hospital. _

_The family has support from the community and they are camping out of the hospital trying to show their support to the family. As will we all. Keep fighting James Barnes, we as a community love your family and you. Praying. _

Winfred brust into tears everyone in the community loved her baby boy. everyone in the community texted and called her within minutes. Today was going to be a good day. It was made even better when the hospital called and said James ICP was lower. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter: 
> 
> Someone unknown and unexpected arrives in Bucky's hospital room.  
Bucky has more problems,  
Will there be any improvements?


	5. Unexpected

** **

January-11-2017

* * *

Winfred had to check into her work that day, they were giving her all the time off she needed but their were forms she needed to take care of before she could go back to her son. Winfred and Geroge had been so moved about how the community was praying, and actually camping outside of the hospital for their son. They texted a few of their friends that they had been home for a couple days but they were heading back this afternoon. They needed to inform James' college where he was if they didn't know already. 

Soon after they told them they got a call from the Nurse Sarah saying. "Hello Mrs Barnes, James is having a hard time, with fever, his lungs and sepsis this morning. We are waiting for the ICP to go down a bit more to do a trach but we started him on another antibiotics. He's also bleeding we started another blood transfusion, we can't take him off the ecmo yet." 

"Thank you, Nurse Rogers, I do want to come see my baby please continue all you can to get him healthy again. Has he had anymore heart issues?" Winifred asked because her son went into cardiac arrest and coded. She was so thankful her baby was still alive. "Is he stable now?" Winifred asked she had been curious. 

"No ma'am, he's still critical condition, he will continue to be until the swelling goes down unless there's other problems. You have a marathon Mrs Barnes, but your son is young just still very sick." 

"Thank you Nurse Rogers." Sarah responded and hung up. 

* * *

A few hours later The Barnes Family was there with James when suddenly and unknown man is standing in the door way. 

"Hello." George said, looking away from his injured son. 

"Hi, I'm Daniel Cunnings. I just wanted to see how your son was. I wish I had stopped sooner but wasn't expecting it " 

"It's fine, he's alive and fighting that's all that matters." George repiled looking at this wife. "I wouldn't have expected it either ". 

"If you need any support, financial wise, food. Let me know. Wether anyone realizes this or not James saved my life." Daniel Cunnings said. 

"What do you mean?". 

"The nurse who attended to me once I arrived said I was very lucky to be alive, my kidneys weren't functioning properly and I would haven't found that out if it wasn't for the wreck. Horrible as it is for James, and your family I wish to thank you." Daniel Cunnings said nodding to Winfred and George. "Everyone says your son is a great young man. I hope he makes it." 

"Thank you." Winifred replied stunned as Daniel turned around. "Here's my number." He said sitting it on the table. "Please let me know when he's ready for visitors.". 

And he left. 


	6. In the fire.

January-16-2017

In The Fire. 

It had been five long days since everyone had heard from the Barnes family. Only Laura, Erick, and Natasha got any updates outside if the family. Everyone outside of it was worried that James' was just hanging in to pass on later.

~

6:00 am, January -14 

"James had more critical moments including an allergic reaction, he isn't stable,he had bleeding from the trach procedure. Ecmo line still in because its helping daily with his swelling and brain bleed." 

Natasha was looking at her old/new texts to Aunt Win trying but falling to focus at college when she hadn't heard anything else in a bit 

"Is James okay today?" 7:00 am, January 16

"They are about to remove the ecmo line, take him out of his induced coma, pray he comes out fine! And I can talk with my baby boy! ♥️😘" Aunt Win responded with emojis. 7:02 am. 

Thirty minutes passed since the last text. 

"James is awake, Ecmo line is out, they are going to put him under sedation for 6 hrs more as he needs to keep the leg still. My poor baby boy. He is in pain. But baby steps." 

~ 

Six hours later. At 2:30 pm group message. Winfred, George, Alice, Rebecca, Natasha, Laura, Geroge. 

"Out of coma, decided to keep him under sedation until tomorrow morning, ecmo gone, has a fever but all vitals are good save kidneys, and lungs" Winifred 

"Okay aunt Win." Natasha

"Yay Bro!" Rebecca

"Alright." Erik

"I'm glad he's out of the induced coma! ♥️" Laura. 

"Good Job Bubba! 💪" George 

"🙏🙌💪" Alice. 

20 minutes later. 

"Fever is very high, they turned on cooking blanket, his face went red. His temper is still in check for sure! Me and George had a good laugh at that. So glad he's still here. Natasha your welcome to post he's doing better on the prayers for James community. Thank you for starting it!" Winifred. 

"Will do Aunt Win!" Natasha. The rest of the messages were laughing faces, and at least he has that. 

* * *

The next morning. January-17-2017

James's woke up, they removed the ICP bolt in his head while he was out, after looking at the pressure an deeming it fine. 

Winfred, George, Laura, and Erik was in the room, Natasha and Alice or James' sisters wasn't there yet. Dr Ryan motioned both over as James moaned. "It's okay James, can you do a thumbs up for us?" Dr Ryan asked when James opened his eyes. His hand went towards his nose where a feeding tube was, his momma caught his hand, he blinked several times looked at his mom 'mom' he mouthed. "Hey bubba, you might as well leave that alone it's not coming out." Winfred said gently to her injured son. She could tell he was having trouble keeping up. "Can you do a thumbs up for me?". James stuck out his tongue instead for his momma. "Oh my Goofy Boy!' she said sticking her tongue out right back at them, making sure to stay in his face, in his line of sight. James couldn't move his head or see much right then. And James grinned back at his mom, his eyes closing breifly. 

"He's acting goofy because of sedation, and morphine we didn't pause them." Dr Ryan said. 

"I'm glaf we needed this." George said looking at his goofy son with fondness. 

"We need him to follow commands before we put him back under sedation, just enough to keep him under. He's doing better but he won't be in as much pain." Dr Ryan said. James followed his finger but had a hard time not able to see much in front of him, and didn't understand thumbs up. A few moments later when they were about to up the sedation they got the reason why. James' suddenly tensed and started convulsing. 


	7. Rough Time

January-17-2017

Jamas was convulsing, His face was twitching, chest tense his paralyzed legs weren't moving at all but his arms, and head were, the nurse Sarah and Dr trying to keep his head and left arm as stable as possible and keep his right hand from the trach. He soon stopped convolusing. They relaxed checking him over. His parents looked terrified. Dr Ryan ignored them for now as he checked over his patient. Checking his breathing, even though of the tube he wanted to know if James' was breathing even a little on his own,He was. His chest still wasn't clear and that was his fluid filled lungs which they were still trying to clear with the tubes connected to his chest. Dr Ryan, looked at James' pupils, everything said post traumatic epilepsy, but epilepsy is more than one seizure. Best to start anticonvulsants. But before he said the word James went through another seizure while shorter it still was one, it didn't last even a minute. 

"Nurse Jordan, get the anticonvulsants. This is definitely an Post Traumatic Brain Injury epilepsy. But we are going to run a EEG anyways. Get one bedside, stat." Dr Ryan said, and Nurse Jordan went to do the task. 

Nurse Rogers looked at Dr Ryan. "We are going to need to do MRI, X-rays and a CT scan first. His lungs don't sound good, and with two seizures like that, I'm sure he still has a brain bleed, and we need to repair what we can. After all we had him on the ecmo, and a surgery before and during that would have been too risky with the swelling he had." 

Dr Ryan nodded, turning to the Barnes family. "I would like to do all the surgeries at once.". 

Soon James had the EEG for 48 hours he had seizures to more times, it was time to prep him for the surgeries. The antibiotics had wiped out the sepsis. But he still had fluid in his lungs dispite treatments and producures 

January- 20 -2017

Three days later James was ready for all the surgeries, James had huge bouts of confusion and staring off into space but it didn't show in EEG Dr Ryan told the Barnes Family that James' brain was just trying to figure out what to do now. 

"Each TBI is like a fingerprint none is the same."


	8. Birthday Coming

January-20-2017

James went through surgery with no completions other than bleeding, which was taken care of easily with a clotting drug and a blood transfusion. James still had a tube in his chest but he's left arm was taken care of as well as everything else. James was back in his ICU room, his parents informed who had been in the waiting room with Natasha, Alice, Rebecca and James younger sisters. James friends from church were in the waiting room showing their support. 

"Mrs Barnes, do you think we could see James?" They had asked her when they came in. "I don't know if he will be awake anytime soon. He won't look like he did before the accident.." Winifred had said while it broke her heart that her baby boy wouldn't ever look or be the same again. She was happy her baby boy was still alive and breathing though it was laboured and James had a marathon ahead of him. They did too. 

Suddenly Allison started crying. "Mom, is Jay going to come home?" 

"I don't know when baby but Jay will." 

"see Jay." The four year old demanded

"I know baby, soon." 

* * *

After thirty minutes James was ready, he was awake. His parents had seen him, he followed the commands of the Drs even thumbs up. They had were They discussing keeping James off sedation for a bit as a trial run until at night. it would be James' 23 birthday in two days that they would be taking him off as well as the trach collar which means they will see if he can last two hours off ventilator, until they get to 24 hrs off ventilator but they will do that in days. James face was still cut up but healing slowly from the crash. He had mouthed 'mom' and 'dad'. His sister's had yet to see him again and the younger ones still haven't seen their brother. 

"James do you remember who I am?" Dr Ryan asked, he covered his name badge before asking. James opened his mouth to mouth something but looked like he wasn't sure, and looked frustrated. Then shook his head. Dr Ryan smiled "that's understandable, and very much expected. I'm Dr Ryan." 

James looked like he was having a hard time trying to mouth words to say. "Here." Dr Ryan handed James a note book and pen. "Your parents can help you if you have any trouble." He turned towards Winfred and Geroge. "Will sedate him after visiting hours but in the meantime if he needs rest, let him. He's going to be exhausted and confused for awhile." 

George went out, asking who wanted to visit James first. James sisters were the first through the door of James private ICU room. "Jay.". He smiled and tried moving his head to see them better but his mom stopped him. "Easy Bubba, let's keep where head where it is right now." He stopped feeling pain and he was exhausted. They had to almost on the bed before James was happy, but he could see farther than he did when he first woke up. His eyes closed once or twice when his sister's said something he tried writing which was sloppy but they could still make out James writing. "Bubba, Nat and friends are here to do you want to see them before your sisters wear you out ". He wrote no wanna. "Okay bubba." James saw his legs spasming when his dad showed his sister's out. He looked at them then at his mom, he tried to move them. 'mom I can't move my legs ' 

'why can't I move my legs ' he wrote, tears and fear in his eyes. 


	9. Square One

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please Please Leave A Comment & A Kudos, I'm getting discouraged. Even if it's anything I just want to know.  
This is based on two real life medical emergencies that I have seen.

January-20-2017

James couldn't move his legs and it scared him, he was confused he had just finished moving walking. He didn't really understand that he was laying in a hospital bed, or what was going on around him. All he knew is that he was in pain and couldn't move his legs. nothing made sense, wasn't he just out with his friends? Tears were running down his face, heart racing it was then Winfred and George realized that James didn't really understand what was going on. Confusion was definitely seen in their sons eyes as well as fear. Winfred hit the nurse call button as much as it hurt her to do so her baby boy needed rest, and she could tell her son wouldn't in this state of mind. 

"Easy Bubba, it's okay, your Okay Jay. You had a car accident. Do you remember. You are in the hospital you have been for a week." 

James looked at them confused and scared. He motioned towards his legs. Winfred couldn't continue. "Jay, your paralyzed bubba. Your going to be okay." James started crying when more and his heart rate raised Nurse Sarah came in her son was in the door way behind her, and came in behind her, he was wearing nurse clothes, which Winifred's mind thought odd as she was knew he was James' age. 

"Keep him fixed on you Winfred, Geroge. I'll get the sedation up." Nurse Sarah said reading the situation. They distracted their son. And the sedation came blissfully to James in a matter of minutes and he feel asleep. In his confused state he saw Steve and wondered who the blonde was. 

* * *

They checked his vitals. James had a fever, and it was pretty bad. He reacted only a little to the cooling blanket being on, even under enough sedation to keep him under his temper didn't show like it did last time the cooling blanket was on, which told them how bad James was doing. It was going to be a long day The nurse's were doing everything they could until James nose started bleeding uncontrollably when it turned 10 pm. they called Dr Ryan in immediately. They laid James flat in the bed, and did blood clotting drugs, it wouldn't work. They set up a another blood transfusion at 10:30 pm After bleeding awhile. It wouldn't stop. His blood pressure dropped more than it should with a clotting disorder, they rushed him back to CT scan, to find James internally bleeding in his stomach, left arm and he's nasal cavity. They took his blood for a tests of all sorts, James was back to square one in setbacks. Dr Ryan was in uncharted territory, he told the Barnes family such, and that he was sorry but James might not survive the night if they didn't get the bleeding under control and that a stomach bleed was the worse thing, and it needed to stop as soon as possible. After Winfred got the news from Dr Ryan she texted Natasha. It read. 

From Winfred,To Natasha

11:30 pm

"James is back at square one, critical moments, bleeding uncontrollably. Dr says uncharted territory, he might not make it. Pray or think Pslams 118: 17 & Ezekiel 16:6 over him. " 

Right after She sent the text, they were told that they can stay closer by in a house close to the hospital it had a vacancy, it was used for families who typically had a 21 year old or under in the hospital but the house management had offered to let them stay because they heard James story, and how he was back to fighting for his life that very night. 

"I'll post on his page, Praying Aunt Win." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please Please Leave A Comment & A Kudos, I'm getting discouraged. Even if it's anything I just want to know.  
This is based on two real life medical emergencies that I have seen.


	10. Two weeks later.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm writing this based on two separate peoples lives, one has a traumatic brain injury, and one has a form of lymphoma. They are both here today.   
September 19 2019   
I have cancer, I'm devastated... terrified... I haven't been feeling myself for a few months and decided it was long enough I have been recently, so recently diagnosed with cancer, a form of lymphoma as well.

February- 10- 2017

Jamas' health had been up and down the last two weeks, and they had finally gotten his bleeding under control, His liver & kidneys had failed that night and they put him on dialysis immediately. He was sedation fully for the last two weeks. A health issue called HLH had his white blood cells attacking white blood cells. His counts, which would normally help him recover from an infection were so low that they would only let Winfred and Geroge in to see their son and no one else, James immune system wouldn't be able to fight anything off at that moment. Now they were looking for the cause of the HLH, three causes was a Epstein–Barr virus, Infection, and certain cancers. They did a biopsy, and other tests and it showed James had cancer, a form of lymphoma. They had yet to tell the family. Dr Ryan with Nurse Sarah Rogers came out. James was still under sedation but they were talking about dropping the dose so he will be awake. 

"Mr and Mrs Barnes, can you please sit down?" Sarah Rogers said as she was the first in the door. 

"I'm so sorry to say this, especially since James has been through so much already with the TBI, and other injuries. But He has cancer." Dr Ryan said. "A form of lymphoma, that's unfortunately connected to HLH." 

Mr and Mrs Barnes were in shock. They texted their family and Natasha and then Winfred called in tears with her mom. Winfred could hear Ryan's words in her head. It felt so surreal. 

"With Chemo treatments for the rest of his life, he can live life. But he will need to make it to rehab first. I would pray nonstop for his Strength of will to fight. Yes he's made it so far but he's still in the woods." 

An repeated such to everyone an Natasha updated his page. With urgent prayers and the Drs diagnosis. 


	11. Waking

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> James wakes up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy New Year!

February-10-2017 that evening 

* * *

James came around slowly, it wasn't like you saw in the movies where the person suddenly wakes up and isn't in pain. All James can feel is pain, white hot and firery. And he doesn't know why. his head hurts and so does his arm.

'why do i hurt.' James thought as he let out a moan, and it was then he realized his chest hurt, actually his entire body hurt, his face hurt.

He moaned again without opening his eyes. man his head hurt James tried to open his eyes, but they took effort for him to open slightly, he squinting with a wince everything seemed blurry and then to bright, he shut his eyes.

Then suddenly he heard his dad's deep rough voice but in that moment felt wonderful to hear his fathers voice.

"Bubba, come on open you'er eyes for me Jay" James opened his eyes blinking but he couldn't see much other than his fathers face in front of him, George Barnes rough futures was the best thing, the most familiar thing he could see in this white bright room, he suddenly realized he was in a hospital bed and was terrified of that fact, what had happened the last thing he remembered was that he had been at the party what had happened that he had ended up here...

"Dad" he rasped out his throat hurt and was rough, and then he found he couldn't move or feel his legs as he tried to shift his position. "mom?" 

"Bubba you mom is out for a moment, but you are going to be okay. you were in an accident do you remember?" 

James slightly moved his head in a shake but it hurt, and he winced. "what happened" he asked between gasps, trying to keep calm knowing his dad was going to explain, despite his own fear. 

"you were driving son, you ran a red light, with Alec_ & _Zander Kings in your truck. you were hurt pretty bad and that's why you can't move your legs." George said seeing his sons confusion.

"your paralyzed from the waist down. they don't know if its complete or incomplete. your back is inflamed to much to tell. but we can make it through this son."

his words were slow and gentle, if anyone else but George had said that sentence James knew he would have panicked but he trusted his dad and mom. just then his mom came in, a nurse followed her, and checked James vitals before leaving the room. 

"Mom" James said as soon as he saw his mother.

"oh my dear baby boy, i'm so sorry bubba." exclaimed Winfred, pushing what was left of the fringe out of her sons eyes. 

George and Winifred shared a look before looking back at their son unsure how to tell their twenty-three year old son that he had cancer. Winfred spoke 

'Jay, i wish this with all my heart.. my dear boy... the doctor did some blood tests on you and...Jay, you have cancer. a form of lymphoma..." 

James looked at his parents expressionless, the cuts on his face standing out on his pale skin, which they knew that they would leave scars. it seemed his skin had went more ashen in the last few weeks in James normally healthy tan skin. it would explain how sick he had been feeling starting at the end of December before the new year of 2017.

All he said was "oh" before breaking down it was too much...especially after the news of his paralysis.... 

His Parents comforting their oldest son long into the night. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please Leave a Comment, it can sometimes be discouraging to write a work such as this. next chapter will be a time skip of when James is in the rehab and outpatient for cancer treatment. and we will have a little lovable surprise on four legs! for James! See if you can guess the color & breed of service dog


	12. 6 months later

**6 Months Later**

_August 7 2017._

* * *

James sighed looking out of the apartment building, he had been staying in the last 4 months, even though it was like 7 months since his accident. He hated that he had gotten talked into that stupid party with the Kings Twins who haven't visited or spoken a word to him since it happened dispite the fact that their mother wished him well, and had the habit of saying. "James you are a good boy I'm sorry this happened to you." while he was sure it wasn't meant as condensing it felt like it, it was his fault after all that they had been in his truck and that he was the one who wrecked his truck, he couldn't blame it on anyone other than himself and he knew that, so he wouldn't but he wished they would have given him the chance to talk to them or something... But he had endangered them and that made him feel sick 

After all Daniel Cunnings, the guy who hit the drivers side of his truck, the guy he had in endangered as well by not seeing a red light, actually being too drunk to realize that it was a red light... The man had actually told him about his visit with his parents on January eleventh, he had said that James saved his life, and thanked him. 'He had thanked me' he thought.. and by now Daniel had gotten the medical treatment he needed and had asked James if he could put him in his testimony, since he was sure people in other towns would look up the 'mircale' but at least he hadn't said it that way. James had agreed that he could after all he owned him something even though he wasn't fined or whatever by Daniel or the man's boss...

The nerves down his left arm suddenly screamed at him, and he stopped rolling his wheelchair, his useless paralyzed legs sitting before him as though they weren't actually apart of him anymore, as that's how he saw them. His plan as to being an Independent adult had been shattered that night, seven months ago today actually... 

He had several issues with blood clots, seizures, and the fact that they had decided to do a stem cell transplant a few months ago, that all happened in march they had taught he had went into some sort of remission in June but no, He wasn't that lucky he never was and they started him on chemotherapy directly after, and now he had no hair... Nope none at all... and he had a stupid iv port for infusions, and they were talking about a feeding tube because he wasn't 'eating' enough calories... He felt depressed, they even had him on an antidepressant, anticonvulsant, and pain meds which he apparently needed and couldn't skip a dose but he often did when his parents didn't remind him... Or they would just become useless when he vomited it up. He was surprised that he hadn't had a seizure since June, there was a way for paraplegics to drive so if he stayed seizure free for a year or so he could drive again, but would be want too... He felt moody, one day he would be fine the next depressed as could be, he would have migraines and headaches too... Just last week he almost gotten really sick in two days, his parents had brought his sister's with him and Allison, the four year almost five years old Carrier monkey, seeing she hadn't been sick herself. At leased he had fun joking with Allison when she had declared that she was almost five very proudly and getting a pout in return when he had said nope you can't be five... And then the depression was back, he still had physical therapy because apparently exercise helped recovery, but he just always felt fatigued... 

He decided to stop wallowing in self pity for now that would get him nowhere good with Natasha, considering she was supposed to arrive with a surprise in thirty minutes, he wondered what it was... 

15 Minutes Later: 

James had fallen asleep, about fifteen minutes into the half hour in his favorite chair having transferred himself into it form his wheelchair. Winfred unlocked the door as she came to the apartment with groceries. Seeing her oldest child asleep in his favorite comfortable chair, even if he was pale, she saw the cover bandage that was over the port near his right collarbone, he wasn't doing so well, the chemotherapy that was treatment for the cancer was wrecking havoc on his body, making him look fragile... She saw the scars, now just starting to look white down his left arm. She looked around, she knew Natasha would be here in a few minutes. James had been falling more and more into depression lately, and so when she was sure he wouldn't wake after making two trips for the groceries she went back out leaving the door open afterall the apartment was on the ground floor, making it easily accessable for people with mobile disabilities, the manger was nice and a friend of the pastor of their church and offered quickly a place for James even before he got out of the rehab knowing that he needed somewhere closer to the hospital for treatments. 

Winfred went to the wheelchair accessible toyota four runner and got out a dog crate, and other dog supplies, putting into the other room where she and her husband took turns staying in, once that was finished she closed the toyota, than shut the door after looking around James was still asleep, she pressed her fingers gently against his forehead checking for fever, he felt a little hot so she grabbed a thermometer, after checking his temperature which was in normal range for him right now. She got a light blanket and set it over his legs and around his waist, watching her son fondly. When suddenly her phone buzzed, she looked it was a call from Laura, she had so many alarms for James she had thought it was for him. All she was glad of was that her son, her baby boy was alive and whole in her eyes. She stepped outside, out of earshot quickly answering

"Hey Laura, how are you?" 

"Hi Winfred, I'm good, how are you and James? Haven't heard anything from you in a few days." 

"Been a bit busy with Natasha finding the puppy! It's a girl and she's beautiful! James is doing okay, he's having a hard time. He almost gotten really sick a few weeks ago. He's actually sleeping at the moment." 

"O, Now I want to come see! That was so nice of the community to start a fundraiser for James to get one after Natasha mentioned that the doctor recommended one and that you were looking into it." Laura replied. 

" Come on by, Natasha should be here in five minutes, and I imagine James would be plenty awake after seeing the little bundle. She's going to get big, her parents are, which should help." She paused " yes, me and George are thankful for all the support with James, and I'll never be able to thank you enough for not being home that night." 

"See you then, and Winfred, me too, me too. James is a really good guy." 

She hung up and went back into see James waking up. "hey bubba." 

"Hey Mom, when did you get back?"

"Around twenty minutes ago, how are you feeling?" 

" Sick to the stomach and tired.." James muttered. 

"Think you could drink something? Something soothing perhaps?" She inwardly sighed when James shook his head. "Did you have a good nap?" She asked instead of addressing it knowing it would just upset him. 

"Yes mom, I did. How's everyone?" James responded with a stifled a yawn. 

"Good." 

"I wish I could see them, without getting sick..." James muttered trailing off.. sounding all the more like a little boy, instead of an adult in their early twenties, but he would always be her little boy. 

"I know dear... Allie, wanted me to apologise for her, she found out by me and Becca talking that you got sick after she visited.." 

" I miss everyone and everything mom..I want to go outside without feeling so tired and cold and worrying about what's going to make me sick... Why me mom? Why did he chose me to be the miracle... I don't feel like one." James had tears coming to his eyes... He felt so drained and alone, it was home ,hospital, rehab, back. Over and over again and it was killing him, he hated it... Winfred pulled her son close in a hug as he broke down. 

"I don't know dear, but I know he is saying you are strong. Afterall he gives the hardest fights to his greatest warrior's, and you are one bubba. You have always been my miracle since the beginning." She said and after a few minutes, and he pulled back and wiped his eyes with the back of hand. 

"Thanks Mom." He said and just the the door opened Natasha coming in with a silver and cream phantom buddle in her arms. 

"Meet this sweetie, and James she's yours! Her name is Luna, and your families idea not mine if you try to blame me." She said 

"She a poodle?" Nat nodded.

"What the doctor recommended." His mom said. " A standard poodle puppy, eight weeks old and weaned." 

"Can I hold her?" James asked reaching out, and holding the puppy. Luna, James thought with a smile on his face, as he petted the softest puppy on the earth. Who kept trying to lick him, and play. Winfred disappeared, grabbing a toy for Luna. she knew she would have to do a lot of the work if not all as long as she was a puppy. But one day, this puppy would be a great dog, after all James was actually genuinely smiling as he played with the poodle puppy, with the piggy squeaky toy. It was then when Laura arrived at the apartment. 

"Look what they got me, Mrs Laura." James said with a smile on his face, reaching his eyes in the first time in months. "Her name is Luna." 

* * *

Here's Luna

* * *

Luna's Crate


	13. College

End Of August 

* * *

Steve was sitting in the college classroom getting the finishing touches on his project that week, while waiting on his friend Sam Wilson, one of his best friends who shipped out at age 18 to be in the military, Pararescue to be exact. He was now out because of medical discharge, injured during his first tour which is four years. Now he was back home with nothing else to do and decided he wanted to stay with the medical point of view.

What he didn't know was why the red haired girl he had seen at the hospital with James Barnes was in here as it seemed in the middle of nowhere. Had she been taking online courses until today? She must have. He walked over. "I don't think we ever introduced each other, I'm Steve." 

"Natasha, and Mrs Barnes told me what you suggested that night... Thank you for saving my friend with that suggestion." She responded, shaking Steve's hand. 

"How's he doing?" 

"He's doing as well as can be expected I suppose, he's depressed every plan he had for his life is gone one way or another so he says but I tell him over and over again that it's not. He got sick a few times since his been an outpatient but thankfully not enough to be readmitted. His family got him a poodle puppy, I picked her up, she's the prettiest eight week girl I ever seen. Silver and black. They call the color phantom, her name is Luna, but I told him he should give her the nickname Winter soldier, because that's when his fight begin, and she's going to be his sister in arms.". 

"I'm glad he got one, a bundle of joy always does." Steve responded. 

"Unless you are allergic, but I forget Steve isn't anymore. I'm Sam Wilson, just moved back not to long ago." Reaching out to shake hands. 

"Natasha." She responded shaking his hand. 

"Who are you talking about? With the poodle?" 

"My friend is fighting Lymphoma, he's been through a lot since January. He's also paralyzed from the waist down. Steve here saved his life by suggesting something." 

"Wow Steve, you have been holding out on me I didn't know you were a hero." 

"So says the pararesue sargent." Steve teased his friend. 

"You served?" Sam nodded. 

"Thank you. James wanted to serve but now he won't get the chance with his paralysis..." 

"You didn't mention the cancer." Sam noticed

"I'm sure he'll beat it up where it won't ever come back." Natasha responded. 

"What's taking the professor so long." Steve wondered out loud. They shrugged, "maybe getting coffee." Sam said. Just then Natasha felt her phone buzz. 

Nat, James fell when making a transfer. He's unconscious and they found a clot... I asked Laura to take care of Luna, just get here as soon as you can. 

"I got to go, James fell, he's unconscious and there's a clot..." Natasha said going and gathering up her stuff quickly. Just then the professor walked in. "Natasha?" "James fell." Is all she said, the professor nodded. "Tell Win, I'm praying." He said as Natasha left. 

Steve sighed thinking poor guy. If it wasn't one thing, it's another. And mom said he was doing so good lately too, other than mentally... 

~ 

The next day. 

James was sitting up in the bed, feeling miserable. He has fractured his wrist and his collarbone in his fail from the transfer to his bed. Well couldn't these days just get any better... He thought. First he had treatment, second he fell, third the clot and fractures. He was in so much pain their was bruising down his body too. As those thoughts were going through his head Mrs Laura brought Luna in. Her little service dog in training vest on. He smiled immediately as Laura put Luna on the bed. Who went straight to licking his hand, and then chin. 

"Thanks." He said his voice tired. 

"You get well now, you hear " she responded. "We are here for you, James. Text me whenever you or your mom need something and I'll be there." 

Unshed tears were in James eyes, he would not cry. HE Wouldn't. Boys didn't cry for something as simple as someone saying that their there for them. 

"Thank you Mrs Laura." 

He said as he petted his puppy who had grown a lot in these two weeks, who was also curled up by his side her body getting so much bigger could still curl up in a ball like it was nothing. He and Natasha talked when she came back to visit that evening. 


	14. One Year Since

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> since i wrote this part first, months and months ago i just wanted to say with cancer you aren't considered to be in remission until a month has passed i have tried to change it for the point of James and Natasha but cannot without messing up the story-line. now i wish i went back during when i was doing the story-line and knew what i do now.

January 7th, 2018, 7 month old Luna, 1 year from accident. 

* * *

James situation had been up and down these last few months but finally he was doing a little better even though he still had to have treatments, they found a balance and it wasn't as aggressive anymore. Thankfully, he was finally feeling lucky and looking up in life. Today was the day of his accident, but he had something to celebrate he wasn't Isolated! And because of physical therapy, they had found out his paralysis was incomplete and not complete like they originally thought. Which is why He was catching up on college work. Natasha had been hanging around two guys lately a Steve and a Sam apprantly, he hadn't met them, but then again. He hasn't excalty been in a position to until this last week when he got approval to go out of isolation because his immune system had boosted quite a bit, he should be able to start classes back in two days. If his appointment goes well. Hopefully it will he's more than ready to start college on being a lawyer. He had seizures, and slight memory problems, mostly it was just math and grammer but that shouldn't be a real hindrance to his career. 

He was sitting in his parents house, Luna the 7 month old standard silver phantom poodle by his side curled in a ball. His parents getting ready to take him to his appointment. 

Luna had been through a lot of training the last 6 months and now finally she passed the in training period and was now graduated to an official service dog. He still had to watch himself around sick people, but they thought he was once again in remission. Hopefully he was, he would know that evening or the next because his appointment was in twenty minutes. If all went well he wanted to do something that evening, he had been wanting to for months but he didn't know how to do so, especially since he's been talking to her for months actually years. He just hadn't had the courage until now. They left for the hospital 10 minutes earlier than expected. 

3 Hours Later: 

He had done it, he was in remission. He was in remission, that didn't mean the cancer was gone it just meant it wasn't growing or affecting his body as bad. It felt surreal. He told his parents he wanted to get something at Jewelry store. He got out of the car himself, having put the wheelchair out in front of him first. Putting a mask over his mouth and nose since it was a public place and he didn't want to get sick, especially after the almost most wonderful answer in the world. The most wonderful or the most dreadful would be revealed later. He wheeled in he was almost stopped because of Luna by someone. It was outside of their community so he knew, they didn't know them. 

"Excuse me but you can't bring a dog in here." 

" She's a service dog." He replied, is voice rough.. he had seen how some people treated service dogs and didn't understand why his dog was getting stopped in front of a jewelry store, of all places. It wasn't like it was a restaurant or something like that where they 'had to ask' for health reasons. 

"Oh, I'm sorry.". 

He rolled himself to the counter looking at Jewelry, he found what he was looking for almost immediately, paid and then left. Heading home. He then texted his friend, asking if she wanted to go to the beach. She sent a thumbs up emoji. He was going to to it. 

An hour Later: 

A hour later James, Natasha, and Luna were at the beach. James was in something kinda nice but something that he didn't mind if it got sandy. But he wasn't so worried about his clothes what he was worried, what he was nervous about was the answer to his best friends question. Would she think him weird, for wanting this. He hoped not. His courage was fading so he took a deep breath. 

"Natasha, let's stop here." 

"Okay, are you feeling okay?" She asked looking at Luna, for the poodle's signal for seizure there wasn't one. She just laid down next to wheelchair in the sand when James stopped. 

"Yes, but I need to tell and then ask you something." 

"What is it?" Natasha asked, watching James as he moved a little leaning a little forward in his wheelchair before talking, motioning Luna to stand for a second then dismissing her to lay down. Natasha didn't see his hand go into Luna's service dog best pocket.

"I went into remission today, And I realized months ago, that I just don't want to just be friends with you anymore, that you are more than that too me, more than that of even a sister and you know I have little sister's... I love you so much, to the moon and back.. Natasha Marie Romanoff will you do the honor of marrying me until the end of the line?" Opening a box in his hand, he would have preferred to be doing this in the traditional position but he couldn't excalty kneel anymore. 

"Yes." Was the whispered answer so softly in the windy ocean sunset. "yes." 

* * *

There should be no more time skips, but no promises. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is what I had in mind from the beginning! This was my very first chapter of this in my mind. Hope you enjoy it.


	15. Saith Yes, She Said Yes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter was a joy to write when i did, originally i'm rethinking my amount of chapters because it's getting to the point in my own treatment that i'm so fatigued and overwhelmed with everything going on in life. i wanted to remind everyone that this is based on two real life incidents they are doing well. the one with lymphoma however he was thought to be in remission twice. with someone diagnosed with a form of lymphoma as well, its not very pleasant... any isn't pleasant if you know someone in life that has cancer encourage and be there for them, even if it's deemed terminal... we all need support!

Not only did her best friend just uttered the most wonderful words she always secretly wanted to hear, since the Christmas before he got hurt. But he finally had the courage to ask her. Natasha couldn't believe it, and then her James, yes she could call him her's now as he was. He had proposed to her afterall. Not some no account girl that didn't have all the embarrassing stories, but her who had seen quite a few first hand. 

She stared into her fiances blue eyes after they broke from a kiss, still at the beach, feeling the weight of the engagement ring on her finger, the rose gold standing out on her slightly pale skin. 

"what do you say we go home, tell them the good news?" James asked. 

"i'd say thats the best idea you've had yet." Natasha responded placing a kiss on his cheek. "ready to go?" she asked 

James nodded, "text your mom before we leave let them know to be at my parents house, they will all want to know about the ring." he said with a smirk, and she did just that. 

she noticed ever since the accident, trips to and from the hospital in the last year that James got more tense and nervous when he was in a car. She had also noticed that Luna would lay her head on him, in those occasions and would keep her head there until he petted her. She figured out that he was scared that a wreck was going to happen again. Not that she could blame him, she'd imagine she would be scared as well. If a wreck had happened to her. So she didn't press. Just tried to keep him distracted. 

"So, me or you tell them?". He asked right as she was about to speak. Seemingly to sense that she was about to say something 

"You. After all your the one who proposed." 

" But you are the one who saidth Yes.". He said with a smile. 

They both ended up telling their parents, and friends and scheduled pictures in the next week. 

(I know I said should be no more time skips. But they actually help!) 


	16. photo-shoot

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> January 16 2018

It was the week of the engagement photo-shoot, they had a ton of places planned today. James was just hoping he could get through it without having a bad day. He had been in constant pain the last few days but didn't want to tell anyone yet. Not until after the pictures, he would wait to make an appointment then tell. The doctor had told him not to mess around if pain ever made its its appearance again, even if it was just muscles being overly sore it was better being safe rather than sorry later. Especially if a relapse were to make re-occurrence. Which he hoped he would never have. 

What was important about these pictures with Luna at least, he didn't want to put her working vest on he wanted her to know that even if she was their first and foremost for him and would help if he were to have a seizure or command her to do something but he was still self conscious about some people looking at him like they would now... And some random people on social media after seeing pictures of her with a vest said how dare you not let her have a break from working. They didn't know what service dogs were there for apparently, or the fact that he indeed loved Luna so much, almost as much as his best friend now turned fiance. Nat was the greatest most wonderful person he ever met, and they had always been friends since the beginning. 

He had packed himself a couple changes of clothes to wear for the photo-shoot because Nat and the photographer suggested taking multiple pictures, and a change of clothes if they have it of their choice. 

James sighed and Luna was at his side instantly. "hey girl. you know i'm not okay, don't you." she put her nose in his lap, nudging his hand. thank goodness she wasn't doing the warnings she gave him for his seizures. He waited patiently for Nat to show up, and when he did it did't surprise him that his mom was dressed to come as well. 

"i'm coming too." She announced. 

"of course you are." James smiled, hoping they didn't notice clinging to his side more as he moved around in his wheelchair. they got in the car and headed to the first place the photo shoot, then the next and the next until they were done. His mom and Nat were smiling. He was glad he had been able to dismiss Luna without her making a scene for how he was actually feeling but he put on a smile for the camera. There was actually great pictures of Luna. 

They soon got back to their house, Nat lift wanting to get out of the wedding dress she put on once during the engagement photos his mom he was okay just tired. He didn't mention he was in pain and it hurt to breathe, but it was just an ache. Her transferred to his bed Luna climbed up beside him and he fell asleep. Not long later James felt hot and couldn't breathe, he couldn't breathe he tried and tried but he coughed and couldn't get enough air he didn't know why. Luna barked and pressed the button on the wall to alarm James parents as the door was shut. 

"James." His mom said rushing in wasting no time getting to him. He tried to speak but everything went black. 


	17. Emergency

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> January 16 2018

Nat was heading home, she stopped and met up with college friends Sam and Steve, and Alena and Alice at a local coffee shop after the photoshoot. She was going to invite James after the photoshoot was done but had noticed he was in pain and tired and she hoped and prayed it was nothing, it had been a long day for him with the photoshoot his body was still healing, even after all the chemotherapy and surgery from the car accident she knew and accepted that James wouldn't be the same man he was before. He was still strong a fighter, He was the strongest person she knew. She would have already broken had it been her, possibly. Especially if it had been her fault like it was with James, her husband. Luna had fun today with taking pictures and James had dismissed her for her to have fun, but she still kept an eye on her owner. Was that typical of the dog breed or service dog behavior? She wasn't sure. She was very thankful that they had found Luna for James. 

Natasha got out of her car, and walked into the coffee shop seeing Alena, Alice, Sam, and Steve in the corner talking about law enforcement studies or was it military talk considering that seemed like something Sam Wilson would bring in. 

"Hey Nat, long time no see." Sam said as he noticed Natasha first, apparantly once in the military always in the military was true in some ways, considering Sam had been honorably discharged. 

"Yeah, sorry about that." 

"Congratulations on the engagement, I still haven't met James personally yet." Steve said

"Me either, but knowing that you don't put up with nonsense, James must be a no nonsense type of guy." Sam added

"He is, we had the engagement photos taken today and he seemed in pain and tired after them. I was going to invite him to come meet you guys. But." She replied

"We understand Nat, no one is expecting James to be on top form even after remission, his body is still adjusting" Alena responded

"and it's even possible with James paralysis, that he could be in pain above the damage done to him, right Steve?" Alice asked. 

"believe so. But everyone is different, just like every paralysis, tbi, cancer cases are different. I'm still studying the medical field, there's a lot.". Steve said. 

"poor guy, I don't think I would have the strength for all he's been going through.". Alice paused. "It must be hard for both of you and his family." 

"It was at first but he accepts the way his life now, he feels self-conscious though whenever we go out for lunch or something and we have to bring Luna with us.". Nat responded, taking a drink of her coffee while getting a book out of her bag, and looking through her book and going over college work not knowing that her phone was inside her car still and would be ringing soon... 

* * *

The EMTs arrived at the Barnes house within minutes, they were rapidly shown to James room, they asked several questions about James and Winifred or George answered all of them that they knew. When James stopped breathing suddenly. 

"Pulse?" One EMT asked as the other quickly checked James 

"No pulse start CPR." They started chest compressions, and a rescue breath. 

"Check pulse?" 

"No Pulse." 

"Come on James.". An EMT muttered as they begin CPR again. George and Winifred staying close but not interrupting as they new their son's life was on the line. Rebecca the oldest of the Barnes girls kept the younger ones occupied and out of the way, but Winifred could see her Rebecca through the open door and could see unshed tears in her eyes as mother and daughter held eye contact. 

"ETA 10 minutes, White Male, Early 20's, cardiac respiratory arrest, epileptic, history of cancer." One of the EMTs said, after they got James on a stretcher, taking him to the ambulance, They asked who would like to come in the ambulance with them Winifred climbed in without a word, and the ambulance took off George went back inside telling their kids what was happening and telling Rebecca to stay by the phone and call Laura and Eric. Luna whined, pressing her head into George's thigh "I know girl, I know." He said getting the keys and a bag, packing it with the haste of firefighter. 

"Hey Laura it's Rebecca, James was taken to the hospital, he was in cardiac arrest." And Suddenly George knew why she said that instead of saying that James wasn't breathing was because the youngest ones of the Barnes family was within hearing range. 

He didn't wait to hear what Laura and Rebecca said next, he headed to the hospital. 

* * *

Sarah Rogers one of the ER and critical care nurses had just got off her shift at work at 4:45 pm when suddenly there was an Critical ER alarm, she looked towards the doors and stepped back as protocol was get out of the way no matter what. Nurse's that were on shift came forward ready to meet whoever was coming in and assisting. The double doors opened and there was someone she hadn't want to see again in the Hospital, James Barnes, laying still so still, she noticed that there was CPR going on... Not Good...Not Good.. "Dr Ryan is he's Dr, page him." She found herself saying, and the nurse on shift did as they rushed James through yet another door to a table. She saw Winifred. "Mrs Barnes." She said noticing unshed tears.

"He hasn't been breathing for awhile... I'm afraid they aren't going to get him back." She said brokenly. 

"we both know James is a fighter, I had them page Dr Ryan. I'm off shift but I can stay here until your husband or Laura? Gets here.". Sarah said her heart breaking for Winifred. 

"Thank you Sarah, and you don't have to stay I'm sure you are anxious to get home." 

"nonsense, I have been a nurse to James since his wreck and diagnosis of cancer. I'm with you, and your family. He's strong." 

"Have to call Nat, know Rebecca is Handling everyone else.". She called Nat, Natasha was still in the Coffee Shop, her phone in the car ringing into the empty space.....

* * *

"Got A Pulse!" One nurse said. 

"no breathing have to intubate." They tilted James head into position to intubate, they started putting the tube in and down his throat tapeing it into place. 

"Breathing supported." 

"Levels are low, pulse weak." 

Dr Ryan came in one of the nurse's repeated the information. "run tests stat." They did what they saw wasn't good... James was bleeding internally and that wasn't the only problem... "Page the OR now, we have an emergency surgery. Come on James you have to make it through this." 

* * *

Sarah called Steve to say that she was staying late because James just came in with a medical emergency. Steve answered on the first ring.

"Hey Mom."

"Hey dear just wanted to say I'm not heading home soon. Remember the Barnes family?"

"Yes. Mom, I do why?" 

"James was just brought to the ER."

Back at the coffee shop Steve's face went grave. 

"I'm at a coffee shop with Natasha." Steve said knowing his mom would know who she was. Natasha looked up and looked at Steve's face something was wrong. 

"Winifred just tried to call her." 

"Mom I'm going to put you on speaker phone, Natasha's here. She needs to hear what's going on." Steve turned it on sitting his phone on the table, looking at Nat, Sam and Alena, and Alice before saying. 

"Okay." 

"Natasha, James was just brought to the ER in cardiac respiratory arrest, we haven't heard back. I'm sitting with Winifred she tried to call you, He's been in Arrest for awhile now...Have someone drive you here. I know he's your fiance..". 

"I can drive her." Steve said looking at Natasha who turned gray at the thought that James not making it yet again, so close to his 24th birthday this time... and then said bye. 

"Natasha, I can drive your car if you want." Sam said. She nodded her thanks. "I just have to grab my phone out, I can't believe I left it there. The one time..." 

"we can come sit with you if you want Nat." Both girls offered. 

"no, no, please just pray." She said getting up, Sam and Steve getting up as well, and leaving the coffee shop in both Steve's and Sam driving Natasha's car to the hospital. 

"You can come if you want Sam, thank you, thank you Steve." Natasha said walking into the ER waiting room seeing Aunt Win and Sarah Rogers. 

Winifred looked up seeing Nat and Steve but not recognizing the third of the group. "Oh Nat.." she said getting up and hugging her. "hello Steve thank you." Hugging him. 

" It's not a problem, Mrs Barnes." Steve responded. 

"Who's this"

"Sam Wilson, ma'am." He introduced himself, "lifetime friend of Steve's here." 

"Winifred, Military?" She stated having noticed the soldier walk and mannerisms. "You got the walk." She added. 

"I suppose I do." Sam said laughing a little, and was quite surprised and pleased to see Winifred wasn't thanking him for his service. 

"How's James?" Natasha asked. 

"We haven't heard yet." 

Just as George walked in, he had gotten caught in traffic from the way he came. When DR Ryan came out asking for a surgery consent. Which both gave immediately. And Dr Ryan rushed to the OR and Started surgery on James....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What do you think is going on?


	18. Wait? Listen?

Jan-16-2018

Sam sighed he hadn't been in a hospital in months, ever sense he was discharged from the military. it had actually been a Military Hospital, which was busy but not as busy as this ER was, his PTSD could be triggered by crowds. he seemed to be doing fine locking eyes with the exits. he also noticed Steve was staring at him silently asking if he was okay, he manged a small nod in return. his way of telling Steve he was okay as long as he did what he was taught about ptsd himself which could be awkward at times especially since he worked at the VA of all places as a counselor. He could see how nervous the Barnes' family, Nat and even Aunt Sarah was as he had long sense called her as he was Steve"s brother in all ways that mattered to the Rogers family. Sam was still looking when he heard George speak to him. 

"Who are you?" 

"Steve's and Natasha's friend from college, we were studying, so we brought Nat here so she wouldn't have to drive." Sam said looking at him, but out of the corner of the eyes he was still watching the exit, because of that he saw a couple enter, along with an older,who were looking around before heading there way, he assumed more friends or family of the Barnes'. Sam noticed the way the man carried himself, just like Winifred noticed in him. A Soldier, A Veteran Maybe? Though he could still be in. 

"Erik, long time." George said seeing his friend. "How long this time?" 

"Two months then shipped out. Any news on James? Laura called me, and told me she was at your house." He replied. So he was still in Active Duty, unless he has a job that says 'shipped out' as well Sam thought. 

"we haven't heard much, they wanted our consent for something...". Was The firefighter's response. 

"James will make it, your kid's a fighter. George my squad has been praying for him this past year, that James is an honorary member of our squad." Erik smiled. "I can feel your eyes on my back. You can ask, I assume your a college friend of Natasha's.". Erik said suddenly alerting Sam that he knew. "Also saw you staring at the exits." The man added. 

"am I that transparent?" Sam questioned 

"Only to someone that is looking." Erik said watching his wife, Winifred's mom Alice, and Natasha, and The Rogers talk nearby for a minute. "How many tours?" 

"One full one, medical discharge. Pararesue Sargeant." Sam responded. 

"Corporal, Marine, Active Duty." Erik replied. 

"Sargent, Firefighter, Active" George said suddenly knowing what response he would get from his friend. 

"Oh hush you." Erik smirked, Sam laughed, and was surprised to see that he was relaxed now. 

"It's just hilarious how you guys string it out with pauses." George said with a smile feeling better for the distraction, but that changed when they all saw a nurse come towards them. 

"Barnes Family." She paused. "James is still in surgery but everything is going as expected. I wanted to give you a little update James had internal bleeding, his spleen ruptured which caused us to remove it, this isn't all, some lymph nodes are impacted which means they will also need to be removed. Mr and Mrs Barnes James also has a heart infection, why it didn't show up on his all of remission tests we aren't sure. Dr Ryan is sure he'll recover fully. But the surgery isn't finished yet. Me or Dr Ryan will inform you when James is in recovery, and then will either set him up in a room or the ICU depending on his condition." She stopped there. 

"his heart how bad? " Winifred asked. "Dr Ryan will have to update you on that. I don't know fully but it is pretty bad, I assume James didn't complain about chest pains?" Winifred shook her head, he hadn't. "No." 

"do you know if James felt lymph node pain from Lymphedema which is caused by Chemotherapy. Or any other pain that's unrelated to his tbi, meaning his epilepsy?" 

"He hasn't said anything at all about pain, and he hasn't had a seizure in months." 

" Hmm. Don't worry Mr and Mrs Barnes we will do everything we can for James." She said as she left. 

2 Hours Later: 

Sam, Steve and Sarah had left feeling that the family and immediate friends needed time alone in the waiting room. But not before Natasha promised to update them and Prayers For James page with how he was doing whenever they finally one. 

The family, and close family friends was talking whenever Dr Ryan came out of the OR. 

"James is in Recovery." He said to the anxious family. "He's holding his own, actually breathing on his own, he is on the vent still as procedure but it's all him. We had a rough start getting him to start breathing again but he came out better than expected. James immune system is weak though, I believe even a common cold would cause a horrible sickness to him because of this we will need to be extra careful." He paused. 

"George, Winifred James is much better than last year when he was in here. Yes he's fighting for his life again but it isn't as serious as his TBI was I know it may feel like it but we are in charted territory this time instead of uncharted. We started him on rounds of antibiotics and everything he needs right now, give thirty minutes to an hour before he's in a room." Dr Ryan said with a smile. 

30 mins later, James was in but he wasn't showing any signs of waking up just yet, which wasn't to concerning considering. Everyone took turns at his bed wearing gloves and masks so they wouldn't get James sicker just incase. He didn't need to fight anything else off right now. James had a chest tube and stuff so so very similar to how it was whenever he had a heart murmur as a baby when he had heart issues then.

They waited for James to open his eyes but he didn't so Natasha updated James page asking for prayers and sharing an update on James's life. 


	19. Meeting

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm glad I had this chapter already written and all I needed was to copy and paste! Had a rough few days with chemo still rough today but thankfully not as bad.

Jan-22-2018 James' 24th birthday. 

James' was still in the hospital once again on his birthday but at least this time he was awake. It had been six days since he was admitted to the hospital and had emergency surgery. He's body was weak, to where he wouldn't be able to fight anything, anyone that came in would have to wear gloves and a mask. 

James was in pain, a ton of pain. Everything hurt and it wasn't an ache type of pain. He was glad of the quality pain medicine IV stuck in his hand. Everywhere hurt, he told Dr Ryan, who said he would do more tests. Since lymphoma was one of the more complicated cancers, as it attacks the immune system, and Dr Ryan was also very concerned and expressed it to James and his parents that it could be the hlh again but they would need more tests, and maybe a biopsy. He was pulled out of his thoughts when Natasha walked in. 

"How are you feeling?"

"Hey Nat. Okay everything considered." James responded, he hadn't told Nat what the Dr had said and he asked his parents not too until they knew for sure. He didn't want to give false hope. 

"I'm just glad you are awake. How does it feel to be 24?" 

"Me Too, Another Year older I guess haven't even thought of it." James said which was a little bit of a lie. He had been supposed to restart college and now it was set back again. What was he thinking... He might even live through another year... 

"James would you like to meet some of my friends, they would like to meet you and wish you well." 

"College? Or Church?" He asked 

"Does it matter James, you know I would never cheat on you, me and you are both no nonsense type of people." 

"so there guys." James said with a smirk, oh he knew he just baited her to find out. 

"Oh you, James I swear if you weren't in so much pain and in a hospital bed I would slap you." 

"Lucky for me that I am then." He smiled. "I guess that you will have to introduce me, as if they're your friends I would meet them later anyways." 

"you sure you feel good enough, Jay." Natasha said, the nickname the Barnes family had for James showing more concern then before. 

"I'm fine, I don't feel weird or anything. Mom took Luna out for a bit she didn't want to leave but she wasn't doing any alerts. I'm Good."

Nat walked back to the door and said " Steve, Sam." They walked in, a blonde and a black guy. 

"Hi, I'm Sam." The black guy said holding out a his gloved hand. James shook it. 

"I'm Steve." The blonde guy said bringing own hand out to shake James' hand as well after Sam. 

"James." He responded as he shook Steve's hand. 

Steve noticed how pale and how much pain James was actually in, maybe they should cut this visit short he was surprised by what James said next. 

"Sit, make yourselves comfortable. Tell me about yourselves. I'm sure you know things about me." James said, Steve could see the heart and other surgeries scars still inflamed. He knew the surgeries James had were nothing to mess with, James seemed to as well because he didn't even ask about the masks removed and didn't protest when Nat handed one of his own, though Steve saw in his eyes he was considering it. He put it on. 

"Sorry, lymph node surgery is nothing to mess around with. Was told if someone was going to stay awhile to put on my own mask." 

"it's fine." Steve and Sam said in unison. "if you are tired and want to sleep we can leave." Sam added. 

"thank you but I'm good for the most part." He paused. "Dr Ryan isn't ready to release me until he knows nothing else is going on." 

"which is good." Natasha said. Maybe he thought... he didn't want to hear any horrible news anymore. 

"Yeah." He said instead, you could tell how much he didn't want to be in the hospital again though but he was trying to be strong. "What major's are you going for?" 

"Medical, and Art." Steve said 

"just trying to get my degree." Sam said. "did a tour in the Military, so didn't finish, just enough to get in. Criminal Justice." 

James nodded. "My major was going to be lawyer but not sure if I can now. Haven't heard of any paralyzed lawyers, maybe I'll do something different." 

"I'm sure you can even with your disability." Steve said, "i have chronic health issues and they aren't stopping me from doing medical major." 

James felt like he was slapped in the face, yet again why would someone always compare there life long chronic issues, to something he hasn't even had for barely a year, or two if you counted the cancer, because apprantly it had made its appearance two years ago, he just hadn't noticed. 

"You got this James." Natasha said. He smiled trying to keep polite he hated it when someone compared chronic issues that they had from forever. 

"Thanks." Just then His mom opened the door, Luna running in to the bed putting her feet up on the bed to see how James was doing, wagging her tail all the while. As soon as James said, "Hey Lu." She stopped, as James reached out and petted her, then she laid down beside his bed, content her owner was okay. He greeted his mom, who said hi to Sam and Steve. After a few minutes they said happy birthday and left. It was just him, Nat, His Mom and Luna in the room, so he took the mask back off. Nat went to get some coffee down the hall and was about to open the door. 

"Up to anymore birthday visits today?". Winifred asked.

"Just Family Please?, No church, no friends, just us? Dad, Grandma, Rebecca, Allison, and Grace." James said softly, his voice was off tired and stressed, as a matter of fact they both seemed off. 

"You sure Bubba?" Which Nat knew meant more concern than Jay did. 

"Yes, I can't tell her yet, please not yet... don't tell her until the biopsy... I know Dr Ryan said that it doesn't look like but he wants me make sure...he told me before Nat arrived. Mom I might not live another year, how am I supposed to marry and then leave her that way?" Natasha could hear so much broken emotion in James voice, and knew that James didn't actually want to keep her away or out of it but he was just trying to process it again. "I don't want to do chemo again if it's not going to help...I don't know what to do.. bmt didn't help, chemo didn't...." 

"Bubba, it's okay. He just wants to double check things, you know he told you didn't he? You were in remission before this, you might still be okay, don't lose hope yet." 

James must have nodded. 

"God knows his plan for you, Okay Bubba. Whatever Dr Ryan wants to test is precaution, you know that." 

She waited for a few more minutes,handing and decided to go get a coffee to Win. When she came back James was sound asleep. She took the coffee. 

"How's he feeling?" 

"Not great, he's worn out." She said looking lovingly at her only son, but Nat saw sadness in her eyes. 

"Something Wrong with James?" 

"Dr Ryan said he would release him in a few days, he just wants to use precaution as James had a heart infection and some of his lymph nodes were removed." 

"that's good." 

" Yes." 

A few minutes later Dr Ryan came in and saw James asleep, the nurse already been in checking his vitals. 

"Something Wrong?" The two women went in full blown concern. Dr Ryan shook his head. "No." "Hey James." He said watching his patient come back into awareness. "Huh?" He saw doctor Ryan in front of him then he saw Nat and his mom. "I'm sorry I fell asleep didn't i?" 

"Don't be sorry James.you need all the sleep you can get. But I wanted to tell you and your mom two things." He waited on James to nod. "first: James your still in Remission, me and your medical team looked over everything there's nothing else marking something wrong going on." He paused and saw James smile briefly, and then stop.

"But?" 

"No buts, as long as you continue to listen to your body and the instructions for your cancer journey you will be fine. There's no new signs but I want you in here in a month. 2nd: There's a expensive but it's also labeled experimental as not many have gone through this surgery before. It's a spinal stimulation surgery, it might help you walk and feel more again. It would be painful. If you decide you want to look into it we will see where it goes." He paused again. "Because there's no reason to wait on order for a biopsy and I was planning on sending you home sometime after the procedure tomorrow if you did well. you can spend what's left of your birthday at home." 

"I can." He nodded stepping out grabbing a clipboard off the wall. "I want you taking in fluids, mainly water. And I want you to take iron, those counts aren't terribly low, but let's tread with precaution. Normally a nurse would be doing this, but since it's your birthday I will." He said as he filled out the papers with what he needed to do and handed it to James, and sense James needed help in his medical care because of his tbi his mom signed as well. 

"Well your all set. There's a few ways I can send the pain prescription the if, the pill, or injection." 

"injection please." James asked. 

'DR Ryan to the OR, Dr Ryan To The OR.' 

"okay well let me find a nurse to remove everything because I just got a page." He walked out quickly and quickly told a nurse and rushed to the OR. 

Not 30 mins later James was sitting in his favorite chair, with his Family, But with His Mom, Dad, Grandma, Rebecca, Allison and Grace and Natasha and Luna. 

James smiled genuinely, his eyes smiling as well for the first time in months He was still in remission and he might be able to walk again. 

A/n: I'm not a medical expert, some things are most likely wrong but this is written with research, my friends TBI and Cancer journeys. I'm also not paralyzed and pray I won't ever be but the possible expensive surgery is actually based on a surgery that took place in 2017 or 2018 and for my a03 story I decided to add it. 


	20. One Thing Right.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I actually had this chapter written the way I wanted it and then it didn't save properly, so I rewritten it, and I actually like the result better than the original.  
Having chemo treatments are almost impossible right now, several of us who have cancer treatments, and almost have treatments postponed because of Covid 19. Is affecting many I'm currently glad I based the time in this work as 2017-2018 so far so it probably won't show up unless I decided to 2020 which I'm not sure at the moment, or if I do I probably won't mention it as we need some sort of release.

The next few weeks after his 24th birthday went as you might have expect with his health it was actually good. Him, His Parents decided to look in the spinal stimulation surgery, it was very very expensive but his parents said that they could make it work, if he really wanted it. James had stopped all unnessary social media after his wreck, much to the annoyance to his family who lived so far away, and wanted to know how he was doing. He just barely make himself pick up a phone, which was weird considering his phone had been in the backseat that night and had nothing to do with the actual wreck, drinking did which James cut out of his life ever since, and he was kinda thankful about the fact chemotherapy and other cancer treatments said avoid alcohol at all costs because he had been tempted a few times, especially in fits of depression. Now he didn't have the desire at all even when depressed he wouldn't turn to the drink. He pulled himself out of his thoughts and grabbed his phone, and even surprising himself opened Facebook, and was instantly bombarded with notifications, after notifications. the community group page was the first thing he saw the second was that his Parents, Natasha, and Laura were the admins of the group the title of the group was Prayers For James Barnes. He strolled down, seeing posts of prayer requests about him, and encouragement from the whole entire community and his family he even saw comments from Steve, and Sam? That made him pause, especially considering this wasn't long after his wreck. As a matter of fact, it was the time he should have first few weeks he should have been at college. 

'You Can Do This!' ~ Steve Rogers 

'Praying. Psalms 118: 17' ~ Sam Wilson. 

What? They didn't even know him and they offered encouragement? What maybe he was seeing things. No he reasoned Luna would have been in his face if something was wrong with him, she was laying on his legs. He could feel a little in places, and he was moving but there was no way he could stand, let alone walk. Anyways he pulled himself away from those thoughts and continued. When he saw a picture of his truck, his breath feel short. Luna looked up at him. "I'm okay." He said softly. Luna came closer and licked his face. He didn't mind his eyes were glued to his truck. This, this is what he and the others survived? This could have killed him instantly would have killed him instantly if he had his seat belt on... That was a weird thought... But he saw it his seat belt had he would have been wearing it would have pinned him, and he knew that if he hadn't flew out the windshield, there would have been nothing Erik and Laura could have done for him. He felt a shudder go through him, not just any shudder but the feel as if the Holy spirit was going through him. He suddenly had one thought and he said it out loud "Thank You For Saving Me." He saw a ton of pictures posted of himself, from newborn, kindergarten, pictures with Rebecca, and Natasha, junior high, new born pictures of Allison, and foster kids, high school, Newborn pictures of Grace, his graduation, beside his truck with a big smile on his face, holidays, his birthday, his acceptence letter to college, the wreck, him after the wreck all the way through chemo, with Luna when she was a few weeks old all the way until the engagement photos, he decided to type up the post he was going to do turning on Spotify a songs started playing. 

**Hello, James here. I'm sorry I haven't posted before, it's hard especially the struggle.. **** You all know I haven't been doing well. Some say no one should go through this, but yet I am, and I'm not the only one. Not all of you know that I was very sick and in the hospital a week before my birthday this time as well the second time in two years in a row.. I'm still here, and I know God saved me that night a year ago, just like he did a few weeks ago. If I had died a few weeks ago there would be a different conversation right now on here. And I'm sure all of you would help my parents and siblings if that was the case but it's not. Even though I'm in remission I don't know how long that will last and Natasha has accepted that enough to want to be my wife as you have seen by the engagement photos, actually that night is when I nearly died this time...but God said not yet. I have no idea why he's bringing me so close to death just to bring me back. But I'm thankful. Anyways while I was in the hospital they mentioned a possible way for me to get some mobility back, it isn't for sure it's an experimental and expensive surgery and it might not even work. My parents mentioned that they could make it possible if I needed but I was wondering if you could possibly help. I don't want my parents to be in debt because of me. Because of my choices that lead to this. I'm told that everyone makes mistakes and boy did I. I wish everyday I didn't get drunk and drove home at curfew for my family. But no I was stupid and I regret it. I wish I could walk, I wish I didn't have seizures, I wish I could drive again, and that will probably never happen even if the seizures some how stop or I get mobility back, because i can't even get in a car anymore without freaking out. **

**I started the fund, if you want to please donate to it so I might have the chance of walking again. If not I understand that as well. It is expensive... Thank you for those who donated to make getting Luna possible. Here's** ** a picture of me and Luna at the moment. She's doing great and learning well she took to training like that. I'm so thankful for her. And thankful that y'all made it possible! **

**~James, Donate To JamesWalkingGoFundMe, 20,000. **

James started paying attention to the song playing now he heard the words 

> I've been at the wrong place at the wrong time  
Chasin' all the wrong things most of my life  
Been every kinda lost that you can't find  
But I got one thing right  
Been the kind of guy girl's mamas don't like  
Runnin' with the wrong crowd on the wrong nights  
'Cause I've been wrong about a million times  
But I got one thing right, you

And he started crying again, his personality had changed a lot with all that happened in the past year and that was one of them he had became more emotional. The song was so so close. He did hang out with the bad crowd. He was in the wrong place at the wrong time. He did have one thing right though and that was Natasha.. and he was so thankful. 

He looked back to see a very rude comment from Ray Kings. Saying h"dare you ask to walk again. I told my wife we shouldn't have even donated for that dog of yours! Dogs are disgusting creatures!" 

This was why, he didn't do social media since his wreck a year ago he was afraid of this, or something similar. James set the phone down, turning it off. He would think of something to say and say it later he couldn't now. Luna climbed closer, sensing his emotions and wanting to comfort her owner. 

"Thanks girl" James said as the poodle did deep pressure therapy on him sitting her head on his shoulder right above the port scar. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> James Theme Song: Marshmello & Kane Brown - One Thing Right


	21. Worry

Rebecca was outside she had been talking on the phone with her boyfriend when suddenly her phone beeped and she looked at her phone she saw it was her mom. And quickly hung up with her boyfriend. 

"Mom? Aren't you supposed to be enjoying your date night?" 

"I can't get a hold of Jay. can you check on you check on him." 

"Yes, heading to see where Jay is now. What's wrong." 

"you know how your brother has been depressed lately." 

"yes, what's wrong?" She said opening the door and walking inside. Heading to James' Room first to check. 

"he posted something on the page himself and Ray Kings commented rudely on it and he hasn't answered any of it. Nat hasn't gotten a hold of him either. She usually can easier, especially when he's depressed." 

She knocked on the bathroom, and said 'Jay.' and opened the door no one was in there. 

"I understand mom. As soon as I find James I'll look at the page. He wasn't In his room or that bathroom. Checking the living room now." 

She walked towards the living room, and found James in his chair sound asleep, Luna curled up on him. His phone out of reach, she reached down as she said."he's in the living room sound asleep." And hit the button on the phone and discovered it was off. "He turned his phone off, he's fine mom. Doesn't look like he's had a seizure or anything." She paused. "get back to your date we are fine." 

"Your Sure?" 

"Yes mom, I can send you a picture of both him and his watch alerts." 

"just him would do."

"bye mom." Going to take a picture of James , he was still asleep. She wanted to cry everytime she saw her brother this shouldn't happen to someone... Her brother had changed a lot physically and mentally from this ordeal. He was way too pale as he wasn't able to go outside much anymore, and basically skin and bones, no matter how much he eat. The chemotherapy had made his bones weaker... But she was glad her older brother was still here and still could joke around with them. She hit send, sending the picture to their mom before looking at the post Jay had posted. She saw the comment of Ray Kings... And she instantly wanted to slap him right across the face and tell him off. How dare he. 

"How Dare You, James is 10 times more of a man than you'll ever be." She commented to him. Others had defended James by saying no it wasn't his fault,nor was it for anyone involved. 

"Becca?" James said coming to seeing his sister's very angry face. 

"How dare he comment such about you!". 

James sighed "Ray?" At her nod He continued. "I don't care. I did endanger his sons. they have all been keeping distance since the wreck." 

"but he shouldn't still be so rude." 

"Becca let it go. I am. I'm too tired to fight this." 

"you feeling okay? Your scaring me." Rebecca replied 

"If he wants to come talk with me in person fine, but I will not engage in a public post for everyone to see. Disagreements should be handled between only those that it happened too. Becca. I'm scared I hurt them more than we realized... What if something is wrong with both of them and it's my fault... Alicia was the only one who has talked to me in person since it happened..." tears was in his eyes at the thought of hurting them more than they knew... "I don't know if I can live with that fact... I can barely now.."

"Jay it's okay, I'm sure they are fine." 

"what if they are stuck with having seizures or PTSD or something and it's all my fault...not everyone shares there families struggles." 

"Jay I'm sure they're fine.". 

"I hope you are right." He said, he then moved and Luna jumped off of him immediately, helping him push the wheelchair closer to him, once she saw what her owner was doing. "Thanks girl." He made the transfer over, like a pro. He went near the door where he kept gloves, a mask and a coat and Luna's Service Vest. He quickly put it on her. 

"Where are you going?" 

"To clear my head, I'm fine Becca don't worry I'll keep my watch and my phone on and the button is where Luna can hit it with her nose if she needs to.". 

As soon as James was done, he was out the door, rolling down the sidewalk, it was getting dark and he was a little cold but he couldn't let it go anymore, he had to figure it out if it was really his fault that the Kings hated him, or just because the twins had kept that it was their idea to go to that stupid party. 

Luna whined at him sensing his nervousness when he finally got to their house a good few minutes down the sidewalk. He knocked on the door, and Ray Kings Answered. 

"How dare you show up here." 

"Are they okay? Is that's why you hate me so. That symptoms showed up first a year after it happened? They were the ones who talked me into going to the party and they won't even speak to me since it happened." James paused he had lied to his sister he was mad, he was upset, and he was hurt. And his anger was coming out, anger he had been hiding for a year. "Did you finally find out they are on drugs and think I had something to do with it?I tried talking them out of it! I'm sick and tired if your family being on your horse! Is it really such a sin to you that I want to walk again! Is It!! Tell me, did you want me to die that night? So you can forever blame me? We all made the decision to get drunk, not just me! They made the decision to get in the car with me! I didn't force them! But they stinking forced me to go to the party! They said it would be fun, a nice break! I'm done with you, I'm done with your family. Give the donations or not! I don't care! But you know what it wasn't all my fault! And if I hadn't gone that night I probably would have died from HLH, I had already been feeling horrible and had just wanted to stay home! I thank God for what's happened, with this I have learned a lot about myself!" James yelled, before turning around. Alicia and Ray Kings stepped out and he stopped. "We are sorry James. Yes we did blame you but we should have spoken with you before.. " Alicia said.

"Yes, I'm sorry for the comment, your right you don't deserve it, for the decisions they made. Son. You are really a great guy I'm sorry we blamed you."

"they didn't suffer any late health issues after the? " 

"no.". James nodded, "that's good, I was scared that was why.. sorry for bothering you this late." 

"James?" Alicia said looking at her husband. They noticed that James was acting weird. 

"Yes?" 

"How about we walk with you home? And we will apologize and say we will donate." 

"okay.." he said he sounded out of it to himself, then he noticed Luna alerting him. Dang it... "seizure coming, please get me home.." 

They got him home, without the seizure starting yet. They told Rebecca that it was a misunderstanding and that they would publicly apologize to James, and send a donation for the surgery his way. And to let them know how the seizure went, they were sure they were the ones that had stressed him out and triggered it. They left. Rebecca turned her attention to James and Luna. James was shivering, she got him out of the wheelchair and eased him down to the floor making sure everything was out of the way. Luna put her body under his head, curled up to where taken up the job of being a cushion for Jay 

James’s eyes started to flutter open an closed rapidly and Becca gently rubbed a hand up and down his arm, calling his name softly. When He didn’t respond, She took this to mean that the seizure had started, his head jerked back and his throat spasmed, a scream pierced and echoed through the living room his vocal cords seizing up for a second, and his chest tensing pushing air out. Luna licked his face an mouth, His mouth contorted, neck stretched, back arched... Rebecca couldn't get used to the convulsing body of her brother his body, contorting his arms, and torso around, flexing and releasing muscles at random. Eyes glazed and pupils dilated. It looked painful and exhausting. Most of all, it looked very scary... as the seizure lost it's hold on James she noticed that it had been almost five minutes, that he had bit his tongue and lost control of his bladder, it was iffy at best... because of his paralyzed waist. she grabbed a blanket knowing James would want one until he felt like he could move again. He gulped a couple of times, the last of the seizure leaving muscles still twitching. 

"Jay-" Becca called softly, bending down, and Jay's dazed eyes fluttered open.

"Hey, there you are," Becca said quietly, brushing back Jay's fringe off his face.

"Hey," he breathed, blinking a few times. His eyes rolled a little bit on the last blink, disoriented. Becca squeezed James hand a little bit, needing to feel Jay's weak, yet still deliberately-moving, muscles react. he did weakly respond. 

"Okay, just sleep okay, Luna's here." It told Becca how worn out her brother was when he didn't say a word and just closed his eyes, sound asleep within seconds. Becca Hated Seizures, As much as she hated the cancer They Both Stole James Life Away her older brother should be out enjoying life like she was not stuck with precautions until five years passed. 

Winfred and George were soon home, they got James comfortable in bed. Becca told the Kings that James was okay but he shouldn't have went over there in the cold evening air. Ray publicly apologized to James and made a donation, as well as a donation in a blood bank that was still open for James hospital stays. And then the Barnes Family knew things were going to be okay. 


	22. Easter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Happy Easter!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Easter Sunday 2018

Winfred was sick and throwing up. She avoided being around her son, his immune system was weak, though it had now been months since his remission and surgery on his lymph nodes. But still the worry of him getting sick was always there now, she even hated it so much when he returned to college after his birthday because she was afraid he would get sick with a lung infection or another heart infection or something similar.

She had been feeling horrible about having to stay away from James but it was important to do so considering James wouldn't be completely out of the woods until he hit the five year mark after remission started until then he would have to use precautions, which would be completely hard on James more than anyone especially since he was in his early twenties and all he would be doing no matter how much he tried not too was look to the future. The fact he couldn't walk like most others his age anymore or the fact he was still fighting for his life back from cancer, and that just seemed to bury her son into depression at every turn, like a bottomless pit. Even if he tried to avoid it and she could tell that he was trying, trying to bury himself in college, into plans with Natasha, and his life with her. They were looking for an apartment for the both of them for after they got married, it currently had to be wheelchair accessible and close to the hospital and to them Incase James ever had an emergency, which was hard to find. And she was more more thankful that it was Natasha that James had found to be his life instead of some other girl, who they knew nothing about. And dating anyone with James weakened immune system would be so so dangerous. She praised God for Natasha in that moment and she knew she always would. 

Winifred got up and got ready to go to her appointment, she was about to walk out the door when she heard James. He was in his chair in the farthest corner. Seeing the mask over his face. He was taking precautions seriously at least, she had heard of others not taking any precautions relapse instantly. 

"How are you feeling?" His voice rasped, and for a moment she was scared her son was sick. But his voice cleared after a second. 

"a little better, take it easy though. Don't let Allison or Grace get in your or Luna's face." 

"I won't, I'm okay mom." 

"I'll see you later, Love you Jay." 

"Love you Mom." James said and it made her heart swell, and be even more an more thankful that her son was alive and breathing. After 20 minutes she was at the Dr being examened, and she heard the words, and she couldn't believe them, after She had James and Rebecca, She had three miscarriages before having Allison and then adopting Grace. She was Pregnant, She wasn't sick with anything contagious! she wouldn't have to stay away from her son during Easter Sunday! She was walking out the door and getting in the car when suddenly her phone vibrated urgently, only two things were labeled urgent calls and James medical alert watch. She looked at it with dread. It wasn't James watch nor was it a family member, it was Laura. Interesting timing my friend. She was excited and couldn't wait to tell her. 

"Hi Laura, what's up?" 

"Erik." Winfred could detect tears in her friends voice. 

"I'm coming to you? You at home?" 

"Yes... hurry.". She hung up and drove to Laura's house has quickly as possible. She got there in record time without dangerously speeding. And knocked on Laura's door. He friend's face was devastated, tears running down her face. 

"What Happened?" 

"Erik was hurt, they just called me, he was hurt two days ago in the ambush...they don't know if he's going to make it..." 

"God's in Control, everything will be okay. do you know where he is?" 

"He's in a Base hospital, they told me they were going to transfer him... but he keeps crashing...." Tears were going down both women's faces... "I knew this was a possibility since i married him... but this is so hard... and when he was minorly injured and was sent home for R&R i thought would be it.." 

"Let me call George, Jay and Rebecca and we will get everything ready and be with him." Winfred paused, "my mom can watch the youngest two just fine, and i know Jay will want to be there." 

"Thank you." Laura's tears were still running down her face when she noticed something. 

"you were at the doctor weren't you?" 

Winfred nodded, "But i'm not sick, i'm pregnant." "That's Great!" Laura said some excitement coming into her voice. 

just then Laura's phone rang again. "it's them..."

"Hello."

"We are transferring your husband now, Mrs Summers to a local hospital." 

"Thank You." 

in that time Winfred texted Alice, George, Jay, and Becca saying Erik got hurt and was on his way to a local hospital." 

thirty minutes later they arrived at the hospital, and Laura had somehow got permission for them to stay with her. and Erik opened his eyes, seeing his wife. he was okay. injured pretty badly. they said he would have to be medically discharged this time. but none of that mattered. Erik was home and alive! 

On Easter Sunday, they all learned at Win was pregnant, Erik was awake, but easily tired. but he enjoyed everyone visiting. James looked better than he did when he last saw him, and he learned the surgery for James was up twenty more dollars than the budget the family put on the gofundme, and that James' surgery was next week. the doctors had decided that if he himself is doing good as he was, they considered it a miracle. but he should be out in himself in two weeks the same time, James was excepted to go home after the surgery. It was overall a good day for very family involved. Natasha came an her family came and visited too after all they were part of the family. 


	23. Surgery Date

James back surgery day was here. He was more nervous an anxious than he would like to admit, every-time so far except for the stem cell transplant transplant that saved his life and brought him on the start to remission he had been unaware of a surgery taken place. 

He wished he could feign ignorance but no he had to know this, he had made the decision, and Luckily he had a whole community praying and donating for the surgery to work. 

His parents were in the room, while Dr Ryan as well as the other surgery specialists and nurse Rogers and other nurse's were preparing him for surgery, he was laying on his stomach, it kinda hurt. they drew lines and prepared for the surgery on his back to add the stimulation. His mom was talking to him, and reassuring him that everything was going to be okay, an stroking the fringe out of his eyes, his hair after chemo was so much different than before he liked it though. He had used to hate it a month ago but he decided he loved it now, after all he had hair again, he was starting to get more color back to his pale skin. a nurse said to count back from ten and he tried he only got to eight before he blacked out, and knew no more. Winfred and George left the room as they saw their son go completely under. 

Sarah Rogers was in charge of watching James' vitals and letting them know if everything was going to plan there. They are about thirty minutes into a two hour surgery now, the Barnes family had been informed that surgery was started and that James was doing good a few minutes ago. She was listening to the doctors and nurses talk and had things to the specialists in charge of the surgery when James heart rate monitor suddenly roared. She looked at everything else it was fine except his heart rate which was still climbing, which meant his BP was climbing as well and that wasn't good.. She bent over to where she could see tears running down James face as he laid on his stomach. 

"What's wrong with his vitals?" Dr Ryan said as he paused looking at Sarah. 

"He's awake, are you at a pausing point." 

"dang it kid, no." The other specialist said, hating the fact he was causing so much pain for the young man, as they had made incisions above the site of injury as well. "We better get that BP down, He has a history of crashing." 

Another nurse pushed something to lower his BP into his iv, while another started measurements of Anesthetic. 

All James could do was feel, he couldn't hear, he couldn't see. He felt something over his eyes and something down his throat and it scares him but he couldn't move he was in pain... Why was he pain. He didn't remember why. A hand touched his face, that's all he felt. After a few seconds he knew nothing again, and he welcomed it. 

"Heart Rate, and Blood Pressure Dropping back to normal." Sarah said with a inward sigh of relief, still watching. 

"We have bleeding, and fluid." Another nurse said "His bp is bottoming." Sarah said. 

"Damn, Someone start a blood transfusion now." They did and after a few minutes it went back into normal. They continued surgery. And nothing else thankfully went wrong until James was in recovery period and that was only James wouldn't wake up as quickly as they hoped. So he was still out of it when his friends and family were allowed to see him. They had him still hooked up to some blood transfusions, and other VI's but everything else was going as expected. 

"The surgery went well, He had some bleeding and James did wake up in surgery so we had to adjust the dosage. But he will be fine. We have no idea why he woke. But we know he will be fine." 

20 minutes later in a room 

James woke up, his throat raw. "D..d.did it go well.?" 

"Yes Jay. sleep." They said in some way seeing how exhausted James was despite having just woke up the oxygen that was under James nose making noise as well as the beeping of what his vitals were doing, James was laid on his side, pillows on enter side of him. 

"Lu?" 

"She will be here before you wake up again." 

"Okay.." 

His eyes closed and he fell asleep quickly, Laura came and visit, Natasha, Steve and Sam as well as some other friends from college James had met. And true to his dad's words Luna was there when he woke up again as well. 

Him and his parents and Luna were the only ones there when visiting hours were over. 

They would find out if the surgery had worked out in a few days with physical therapy and

they would know if he could walk again a few days to a weak after surgery. James would be here still for that long... But the surgery had went well despite James waking up in pain in the middle of it. 


	24. Day 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Please Pray for me, my dr did tests and i'm sicker its more aggressive. i will write and read until i'm not able. i know my limits. dr has me coming in for more treatments and that means more exposure and being alone during them. normally a friend or family member would be with me but that's not possible at the moment.  
we all know covid is deadly and i have been fighting an infection, on top of treatments... my immune system is now very compromised.... 
> 
> i'm thinking of typing out the plot for if i'm not able to finish then one of you, can finish it & repost it on your account. i can add whoever as the co-creator.  
that being said, no i'm not giving up, just getting things in order in case.

James was laying in his hospital room, at an angle. His back hurt so bad. Luna was currently keeping an eye on him. As he looked at this assignments for college online. Most of his classes were online but two were on campus. And he was thankful that he had friends taking up notes for him, well they were the ones who offered actually. 

He was wondering how Erik was, he hadn't seen him since before the surgery, considering he was also confined to a bed too. 

Nat had came by and they started making more plans about the wedding, Natasha wanted to send invites out as soon as possible. But he wanted to see if he could stand and walk first. He wants to walk her out as his wife even if he cannot stand the whole time. He would love to carry her over the threshold but he knows that would never happen, with him physically standing... But walking, if this really works. They couldn't tell much right now because his back is apparently swollen because of the procedure. 

He had been having a hard time sleeping, flashes of not being able to move, talk, or open his eyes went through his mind was that some sort of night terror? He didn't know, it felt like it. He pushed the nurse call button. Less than a few minutes nurse Sarah Rogers was in his room. 

"Hey James how are you feeling?" 

"Hurts." 

"well you are due for another dose, you know.". She said knowing that the boy no man before her usually avoided all sorts of pain meds, the exception was when James was facing the really shitty pain after chemotherapy. 

"Please." 

"I'll get it and set it up. James you shouldn't let the pain get that bad before you want to do something about it. But it's your choice, everyone knows better than to argue with you but we can't stand a patient hurting." 

"Nurse Sarah." He said as she turned to get him something for the pain. 

"Yes." 

"Have you ever had a night terror or something like it?" 

She paused to consider his words, was he remembering the pain from the surgery when he was awake. 

"No, why don't you tell me after I get something for your pain and we can see what we can do to help you sleep comfortably." 

"thanks nurse Sarah."

She returned with an IV, bag of pain meds and hooked him up him slightly protesting about that much. 

"James, you know if you stay in pain you can have a seizure. I personally don't want you to have one because of that, you have been doing well on your anticonvulsives let's not change that." 

He nodded reluctantly. "okay." 

"now I'm guessing your parents didn't tell you. But you are probably remembering something, and that's why it feels like a night terror." 

"the wreck?" James asked, unsure. "all I remember is pain and I wasn't able to move."

"maybe, I'm not sure if you remember much of that time. But you woke up during surgery the other day, we still don't know why. I'm sorry James, we don't like to cause pain, if someone wakes up like you did we usually stop if possible but sometimes it's not possible, we weren't at a stopping point when you were awake, if we stopped you would've lost some blood or had a different complication." Sarah said, not wanting to tell her patient that they were worried about stopping at anytime during the surgery since he has a history of crashing. "I was the one who realized you were awake, it wasn't long." 

"Oh, it didn't feel good but it's none of your fault." James said. "that explains it though." 

suddenly his mom walked in. "Happy Mother's Day, Mom." He said as sooon as he spotted her maybe this time next year he could give her a hug again while standing up, but until then this would do. He Hoped the swelling would go down as soon as it could. 


	25. Walking

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dr has given me six months or less on June 1st And I have decided to stop the treatments. I'm not giving up however.
> 
> God knows the answers.

James sighed now was the moment, now was the moment. Luna sensed his nervousness, and came closer. James was out of the hospital. He was doing much better. He had just finished putting braces on his knees so they wouldn't give out. He didn't have much strength in his knees. After not walking and cancer, his legs were weak but this was his goal. His parents had hired an in home nurse for him. He had issues with his spleen, as well as lungs and lack of lymph nodes that actually worked in the hospital. 

"Okay James Ready." 

"Ready." He said trying to keep his confidence. Over the last few months he had became great friends with Sam, and Steve. They always came and talked with him. Sam met with someone who took lawyer classes to get notes for James. And they would talk about it long and Hard. James would be a great lawyer. Both Sam and Steve also found out his middle name was Buchanan, and they started calling him Bucky. His mom, Sarah, Laura, Erick,grandma, Becca, Natasha Steve, And Sam were in the room as he stood up on his own. Knee braces on to keep them from buckleing. He took a step forward, two nurses by his sides and another with a wheelchair behind him incase he fell. 

"Come on, you can do it!" Was said with the add-ons of 'Jay, Bubba, Bucky, Hon.' Nat had taken to calling him Hon, he Guessed just getting ready to call him that in the future. He had told her not to wear it out jokingly. 

He took another step, and another step. It felt so weird not being able to feel his legs completely and walk but He WAS Walking. Luna by his side the whole time, she had gotten so much bigger. She was an adult now! 

"I'M WALKING!" He shouted! "I'M WALKING! Mom, Nat, Grandma! I'm walking!" 

They all clapped and cheered as he took his first steps without falling!!! Few more weeks of Physical therapy to go! And he was set for the wedding. 

* * *


	26. Father's Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Happy Father's Day To The Best Dad's Out There, That Do SO Much For Their Kids!

June 17 2018 Father's Day

* * *

James had worked long at hard at physical therapy since the day He could stand nd walk more than a few feet it was time to see if his dad wanted to, go back to the normal tradition of playing basketball with their kids. He hadn't with his dad last year and so he decided to see if he could do it. 

"Dad." 

"What Jay?" 

"Wanna Play some Basketball?" 

"Are you sure?" 

"Positive if I'm tired I'll let you know." After that mistake of not telling them how James was feeling he was telling himself that he would never make that mistake again. Ever!. It had scared His Parents, Nat, His Family, His Friends and most importantly himself. 

"Okay, put your braces on and let's play." 

They soon we're ready, and were out shooting hoops. James 0, George 5. 

"What day do you think it is!" James said faking irritation. 

"My day." James laughed at his father's answer, starting to get extra tired. Luna came over after a few seconds. And stood by James getting in between him and the ball as he tried to get it to try to score at least once. 

"I think someone is trying to tell you to take it easy." George said. 

"I think you guys are right." James said he was now covered in sweat, except the water proof bandage over the port. 

George took a moment looking at his oldest kid, his son. His son was looking healthier than he did for awhile their his hair back, he was still thin not skinny because the steroids he was on and very pale.. 

Luna nudged both into lawn chairs, they talked for awhile before heading inside to get something to drink and eat. After they were done with both James said "oh an Dad." 

"Yes?" 

"Happy Father's Day, I'm glad you are my Hero. you always been." 

Later That Day they had Dinner As A Family. 


End file.
